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baecvlt · 4 years ago

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Better Late than Never

in which the reader was set up on a blind date by Sonia Nevermind with Kazuichi Soda

• Kazuichi Soda x Reader

• fluff

• fem reader

• original idea <33

BTW YALL this might sound accidentally self insert-ish but that’s because I gave the character interests (since this is a date fic) but I dont know anything else to put for them. anyway enjoy still.

“So, there’s no one there?”

I glared at her, death staring into her clear, blue eyes. “What the fuck is ‘there’?”. She sighed and lightly hit my arm. “I’m asking you if you have a crush, silly!,” she spat, yet her tone remained friendly. I shook my head. “I don’t find any of these people attractive, Sonia”.

“So you wouldn’t go out witj a classmate?”

“No, Sonia”

She stays silent, suddenly darting her eyes at Hajime. “How about him,” she asked,“Hagime seems like a nice guy”. I shrugged. “Not my cup of tea, really”. She then points at Teruteru,“And him?”. I looked at Teruteru, who was already gawking me. “God, no, Sonia,” I gagged,“Too perverted for my liking”. She then began listing names. Here is what I had to say for all of them.

Hajime: Boring

Nekomaru: LOUD

Fuyuhiko: Mean and short

Nagito: Psycho!

Eventually, she gave up. I didnt feel any way of them, who’s to know how I feel about anyone else at this school? “Fine,” she said, but her eyes lit up,“Oo! How about-”.

“Oof!”

He had bumped into me, knowing me to the floor. Kazuichi Soda: the Ultimate Mechanic. “Yeah, him!,” Sonia said. I looked at Kazuichi, disgust on my face. “Not in a million years”. “Huh?” (Kazuichi was madly confused). Sonia grumbled,“What’s wrong with him?”.

“What isn’t there wrong with him? He also doesn’t bathe!”

“Ouch, I bathe,” he said. “Why were you in such a rush anyway?,” I asked. He shrugged, but eventually sighed and revealed his reason. “I got excited,” he said softly. Sonia and I were confused.

“I just got updated on my— something. I’m going to the office to see what they have to tell me about this thing I’m in the middle of”

I was confused, but I had to know now. “Anyway, I’m sorry,” he said, walking right past us. I stood there, but Sonia got my attention. “Come on, we’re gonna be late to Economics”. She grabbed my arm and pulled me to class. When we got there, everybody was huddled up. There was something they were being discreet about. “Hello, friends,” Sonia said,“What are we talking about?”. “Kazuichi,” Ibuki said without the slightest hesitation.

Okay, maybe not that discreet.

“What’s wrong with him?,” I asked,“Besides all that, I mean”. “Cut him some slack,” Hajime said, now I knew the situation was a little more sensitive than I thought. Sonia and I both got our chair to listen. Hajime sighed,“This morning, I woke up and went to get Kazuichi for class. He wasn’t in his room. Later that day, I went go check on him and he was in his room, but when I opened the door, his eyes were just read and tired. I asked him is all was well, he only nodded and smiled. It took a while, but he still told me he was okay, now adding in the detail that the board had gotten back to him on his request to be transferred elsewhere”. My mouth dropped slightly. “Transferred where?,” I asked, Hajime only shrugged.

“This is all Sonia’s fault!”

We looked at Hioyoko, Sonia quick in defending herself. “He wouldn’t transfer schools because of me, it’s probably all your fault,” she was defensive,“Maybe if you weren’t so mean to him all the time—”. Suddenly, arguing broke out. I heard many things. Hajime said he hasn’t shown interest in her lately, Sonia seeming slightly offended. Gundham was blamed, Ibuki wasn’t being blamed (she was never cold with him). Suddenly, Mikan spoke out. “Wait!”. She yelled, so we were quiet. Surprised by her tone, it made us all shut up. “What if it’s all our faults?,” she suggested,“Y-You didn’t have to be cold to him. Who else besides Ibuki or Hajime spoke to him without immediately judging character?”. It made me think, but suddenly Fuyuhiko spoke. “Fuck that!,” he said,“The dude probably wasn’t enough to be here so they dropped him. He was also probably too embarrassed to say that. And the eyes? Please! They were red because he might be some type of pothead; high out of his mind!”. “That’s a really shitty thing to say,” Hiyoko said,“Even *I* know that’s harsh”.

“I don’t give a fuck; Its true”

Hajime shook his head,“I’m gonna agree with Mikan”. “Wait isn’t it like extremely hard to transfer from this school?”. “No, not quite,” Chiaki said,“When given valid reason, the board can transfer a student elsewhere”. “If in fact the mistreatment of Kazuichi was the reason he sought transfer,” Peko added,“He probably went with ‘mental health concerns’. Since we’re all of age, he wouldn’t need to run it by a parent or guardian, making it much easier for him to transfer”. There was silence. “So what now?,” I ask. Hajime had a quick answer,“We treat him better”. “Is it not too late?”. Peko shook her head.

“If Kazuichi really went to simply be spoken about the appeal, students are given three days to make their final decision. Afterwards, there is no going back since students are allowed an appeal once”

We all still sat there. Were some of us actually cold towards him? I mean, everyone else in the academy didn’t even acknowledge him (neither did some of us, but we were around more, right?). “Alright, studebts, to your seats now!”. The professor being there had us scurrying away from Hajime’s desk. Throughout the whole class, I couldn’t focus. I kept thinking of Kazuichi, but why? Why did I care about him leaving so much?

The bell rang, Sonia waited for me. Econimics was our last class every Thrusday. The minute I was within her reach, she continued the conversation from earlier today. “So, I was thinking: you can’t talk to boys for shit,” she said. “And?”.

“What if I set you up on a blind. date.— huh? How about that?”

I sneered. Blind dates—they were such a tacky idea to me, what the fuck, but this was Sonia. She always new what was best for me when it came to, well, everything. Plus, it might be fun, or funny?

“Oh, what the hell. I’ll give it a try”

Sonia smiled so hard, her eyes shut. She squealed. “I cant wait,” she said,“I promise, this’ll be good for you. Just you wait!”. She kissed me on the cheek, leaving me behind. “Wait— we aren’t going home together?,” I asked. She shook her head. “I have some things to take care of! See you tomorrow, love”. She hurries her way. That girl. I’ll never understand her…

“Hey, how’s it going? … Nice … Well, now that you ask, I was wondering if you were open to a blind date? … Splendid! Friday, agree to meet with this girl, here’s her number … Let’s make things more interesting … Don’t tell her your name … Yes, you do know her”

I got home, setting my book bag down and practically collapsing onto my mattress. What a day. Before I got in thought about all that I was told today, as if on cue, my phone rang. It was a message, one from a number I had never seen before.

???: Hi :)

I was friendly, I didn’t have to be.

Me: Hello :)

As if a second cue went off, Sonia texts me.

Sonia: Has your blind date messaged you? btw make up a name! dont reveal anything !

Me: OH okok

I return back to the unknown sender.

Me: sonia put you up to this ?

???: yes, ma’am (or sir, or i have no clue. sonia said you were a girl. sorry)

Me: hey dont worry, sonia said she was setting me up with a guy, so i assumed too. i am a girl and being called ma’am doesn’t bother me.

???: well you assumed correctly, but thank you for letting me know, ma’am i get unsure.

???: anyway, what’s ur name?

I thought of a good, normal name, but nothing occurred to me. I looked all around my room for an object. Suddenly, my eyes landed on the family camera I had left in my room whenI used it for a project.

Me: my name is cam, hbu

???: Zero

Me: Is that really your name?

Zero: no but it makes sense to me

Me: wdym?

Zero: itd just me i guess

Me: ur gonna make me sad booo

Zero: oops, sorry !

Me: lol Its fine. but seriously, I know there is someone who cares about you. if anything Is wrong. you can talk to me, even if our date friday goes to shit :)

Zero: Yeahyesh thanks for that, Cam. its just my friends, i dont feel seen by them and it just feels like my parents have followed me.

Me: Well, they probably really love you. if it helps, I care about you :))

Zero: you’re very kind

Me: aw noooo. anyway, how was your day?

Zero: it coulda been better. yours?

Me: yeaaaa same here

Zero: what’s wrong?

Me: found something out ab a friend of mine.

Zero: is everything okay?

Me: Yea it all should be if I can fix things with him

Zero: you must really care ab him

Me: yea i really do

“Zero” decided it’d be best to change the subject since he figured it was slightly depressive (which it was). From the time I got home (4am) to 12am, we talked. I was excited because for once in my life, I was speaking to someone who liked the things I did. The same movies, the same bands. He listened to a lot of new wave and indie rock. Eventually, I got sleepy, so we called it a night. He called me cute and let me go to bed.

I actually looked forward to our date Friday. I didn’t care who he was, for he was perfect.

Morning came around and I just wanted to talk to him. In fact that’s all I did. We texted in homeroom, Theater, Calculus, etc. It was Friday today, meaning we’d have to meet today after school, thus revealing ourselves. Sonia and I were in calculus and she noticed I wouldn’t put my phone down. “God, someone’s obsessed,” she teased. “He means everything to me,” I said, breaking no eye contact with my screen. Sonia went to Kazuichi, who I have class with for Calculus, Government and Chem (which we both failed last year). I couldn’t care to break my focus on my screen, but I did head him mutter “she’s perfect”. So Kazuichi found someone else? That’s fine, but will she care enough to stop him from transferring? Could be be transferring for her?!

As the day grew the situation began getting fucking dire.

I was headed to my final class, chemistry. I had my phone in hand, texting away and very distracted. Suddenly, just like yesterday: “Oof!”. I was on the floor and above me? Kazuichi Soda. “I’m sorry, oh my god,” he said as he helped me up. I shook my head. “Nono, this time it’s my fault,” I said, dusting myself off,“I wasn’t paying attention”.

“I was also very distracted, heh”

I smiled, picking his phone up from the ground. His screen turned on, exposing that he had been listening to music. “Cocteau Twins”. I handed him his phone. “You like them,” I asked. He nodded,“Do you?”.

“Yeah, I do”

“Cool... where are you headed?”

“Chem”

“Why so early? There’s a whole hour and a half till we have to be there, plus the 5 minute tardy bell”

“I like being early. Where were you going?”

“My room,” he said,“I can’t find my chemistry journal, so I figured I should look for it before class”. “In your room?”. He nodded. For some sick and weird reason, I felt bad leaving him to do that on his own. “I can help you,” I blurted, almost instantly. His face lit up. “Really?!”. His overly joyed expression brought a smile out in me as well. “Yeah,” I answered softly. He grabbed my hand and ran with me up to his room, having me keep up with him. We got to his room as my heels skid slightly behind him. When opened the door and turned on the light, my jaw dropped.

His room was a complete and utter mess.

“Kazu- how is anything gonna get found in here?,” I asked, trying to keep my tone as calm as possible. “Its manageable,” he answered, entering and starting to look through all his junk,“I haven’t had the energy to clean my room anyway. It hasn’t really bothered me”. I shook my head as I walked in. “No, this isn’t right,” I said, an idea coming to mind,“Why don’t you lay there and rest up a little? I’ll clean your room”. His eyes lit up. “Really?”. I nodded, a warm smile creeping up on my lips. “Well, okay,” he answered,“Thank you, sweetheart”. I couldn’t even react to the pet name. His hat rested over his eyes as he quite literally fell asleep before my very eyes.

With that, I got to work.

Cleaning out his room, taught me a few things. He also happens to like the same films as I do, but he likes more action films. I also learned he has a much bigger wardrobe than I thought. Lastly, he isn’t as mess as I thought. He had everything one would need to clean, even owned a vacuum. It took me about 1 hour and 5 minutes to clean out. I hadn’t realized it was that long, time went by me like a breeze. I approached him and sat by him. In a pattern, I shook him carefully then played with his hot pink hair, which was softer than expected.

God, there’s something wrong with me.

He woke up and I removed the hat from over his eyes. He lay as he looked around, seeing his room uncluttered. “Wow, it’s like a brand new room,” he said happily. “Yep”. He sat up and smiled back at me. “Thank you,” he repeated.

“It’s nothing, really”

His voice was still groggy, I could tell he was a little dazed after his nap. He lay back and laughed to himself as we sat on his bed. “What?”. He shook his head as the lazy smile on his face grew slightly wider. “You’re really pretty”. I blushed a little, and laughed nervously. “Thanks”. He sat back up again, we both had no idea what to do now, but look at each other. It was a comfortable silence. I could forever into his oddly colored eyes.

I wanted him to kiss me, now.

I’ve truly lost my mind. I had no idea if it was just tension or anything but that. Would I like it or would I despise it. I decided to maybe test these waters, but before I could, he beat me to it. Out of nowhere, he grabbed my chin, pulling me to his lips. Kissing me skillfully, he lay back and I followed so I wouldn’t be away from him, leaving me straddling his lap. What a day to forget to wear shorts under my skirt. With how he kiss me and I kissed him, it was no secret we wanted this for a while now. The fact that I wanted this made my stomach knot. We pulled away, slightly winded. “That was so fucking hot”. I proceeded to tell him this never happened. He agreed it didn’t. Then he added:

“I’ve never done that before”

“Neither have I-”

Then, it hit me. Kazuichi was my first kiss.

“This must be a very shitty realization,” he said, laughing a little. “Shut up, let’s get to class”. He nodded, getting up from bed, seeing that his journal was on his now clean and visible desk. He picked it up and now we were ready to go. We were still early, despite distance and how crowded the halls were. We sat at our own table, usually we both sat alone since none of our friends had this class. We all knew each other, but we wouldn’t exactly call certain people friends. Anyway, during class, I was extremely bothered. I felt sick and I couldn’t stop thinking about that fucking kiss.

At all.

I really didn’t want him to leave. I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving. I had to stop it, but why did I want to anyway. Is this pity? It didn’t feel like it; I can tell when I pity someone and this didn’t feel like pity. Could it be that he’s always been there?

I’ve never fallen in love before, nor caught feelings. Something about him felt so familiar. What has Kazuichi done for me?

I began to think and it all came to me. The times I had no one else to talk to so he’d be there, whenever someone has bailed on me I’d go to him. I’ve taken him for granted, yet he’s smiled through it all. To think I’d hurt him made me feel worse. “God, I hate this class,” he whispered to me. I broke away from my thought. “Oh, me too,” I answered,“How are you doing, though?”.

“In this class?”

I nodded. “Terrible”.

I mouthed an “oh”. After a second, I offered a solution. “Well, you can always ask me for help,” I said. “Seriously?,” his eyes lit up like when we were in his room. God his crooked, toothy smile had me smiling, it was intoxicating. “Yeah, come to me anytime,” I said, getting quiet. This was quite awful. On top of that, I remembered I had a date after today. I didn’t even want whoever the fuck I had to meet with. As planned by Sonia, we were to meet at the bridge in between dorms on the third floor at 7pm (mind you, I don’t have a room in this school so there really is no reason for me to stay so late). Now that I think about it, it really sounds like more of a meetup than a date. Maybe it wasn’t so important for me to meet this mystery man. I can just text him I was no longer interested.

And that’s what I chose to do.

After class, I bumped into Sonia. She smiled widely when she saw me. “Oh my god, Are you excited for tonight?!”. Here I am, bursting her bubble.

“No”

Her smile went down slowly. “Why not?,” she asked. “I’m not going”.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T GOING?”

That was probably the loudest she’s ever spoken. “I mean, I don’t want to”. “But this was important, what the fuck,” she seemed too upset about it. “I don’t want him,” I said,“I’m into someone else”. “WHO?”. I swallowed before the name came out of my mouth,“Kazuichi...”.She slapped her hand over her mouth. “I know its emba-”.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I’M GONNA SAY, oh my god. You have to go still, don’t leave your blind date hanging, please. I’m begging you, please!”

I scoffed.

I nodded. “Fine, but I really cannot pretend to have a good time,” I said to her. Nodding frantically, she said she knows. Ultimately, it was my choice and she knew that. Sonia walked home with me, then said she would walk back with me when it came time to meet my blind date. She wanted be there for when he was revealed. I got a message from this man when I got home.

Zero: Hey, are you sure you want to meet?

I raised a brow and showed Sonia. She covered her mouth, but quickly told me to say yes. So that’s exactly what I did.

Me: Yeah

Zero: ok

“He isn’t into it,” I said, showing Sonia the messages. “He will be”. Damn, she was so dead set on this and for what? “Come on,” she said,“We should get going”. I nodded, getting up from the floor we sat on in my room. Locking up, we swiftly headed to the bridge.

It was dark by the time we got there.

“Hello?”

No answer. “Maybe wait a little,” Sonia suggested,“He gets shy”. I turned to her. “Do you know him?,” I asked. “Of course I do”. She must’ve misunderstood what I asked. “No, but do you know him know him,” I cleared up,“like is he close to any of us”. She nodded, now I was really curious. A couple minutes passed and he still wasn’t there. “See,” I said,“Fucking no-show!”. My hands clenched into a fist. Sonia was getting closer to me, looking as if she had some consoling words to say, but she stopped. Smiling, she backed away. Then, I heard footsteps behind me. She stepped away from me, nodding towards me, but that was just a signal for me to turn around. I heard a gasp,“You?”.

The familiarity of the voice—it all made sense now.

“You!,” I cried. My eyes watered as a smiling Kazuichi stood in front of me. I hugged him and I could tell he wasn’t expecting me. “God, I thought you’d hate me,” he sighed, relieved. I shook my head. “I’ll leave you to it,” Sonia said,“I have to go anyway; my ride’s here”. We waved her off, getting back to each other. “Wanna head into my room?”.

We headed into his room, snuck in, I’m not supposed to be here. He threw himself onto his bed as his hands made a gesture for me to get on. I straddled him like before and kissed him. “Someone’s excited,” he teased. I scoffed. “I’m not the only one”. His face turned red as he looked away. “Hey, Kazuichi? Can we talk”. He nodded, waiting for me to introduce the topic.

“Hajime and, well, everyone else including Sonia and myself were talking and—”

“Yeah?”

“That you’re leaving?”

“Oh... yeah. I am”

I frowned, getting off him, now sitting next to him. He looked upset now that he remembered. “It isn’t too late now, is it?”. He shook his read putting his hat on his bedside drawer (me thinks this is the first time I’ve seen him without a hat). “Tomorrow, I go confirm my decision,” he said,“I feel... miserable in Hope Peak. I don’t belong here”.

“Kazu...”

“You don’t know what it feels like not having anything in common with anyone. Everyone being so fucking distant”

“I do know how the first one feels, but... we have each other to relate to”

“I just hate how this school makes me feel and I want it to go away”

He shivered as his eyes began to water. It hurt so much to see him cry. I never have. “Baby, look at me,” I said to him,“We all love you, okay? I love you. I’m sorry for being so cold towards you this whole time. You were always there”. He stuck his head into my chest and just let everything go. I played with his hair as he got rid of emotion. I lay his head down and straddled him again. Quickly, I kissed all over his tear-stained face, the taste of salt persistent on my lips. The kisses got him riled up and giggly once again, making him tackle me. I fell back on the bed as he did the same to me. He smooched me on the lips before giving me his final word.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

I nodded, not pressuring him. I wanted him to be so sure about staying. I also wanted him to know that if he did stay, I would be there, always. “You need a ride home?”, he asked. I could have gone home, but I didn’t necessarily want to. “Aw, don’t you want me to stay?,” I pouted. The way I said it was so playful it almost felt like teasing. He blushed frantically answering,“Yeah, I do”. I then realized I didn’t have clothes to sleep in.

And no, sleeping in underwear could never be an option. (Not yet, at least)

“Damnit, I don’t have clothes”. That’s when he opened his drawer and threw some sweatpants at me. “You have a shirt under that one, correct?,” he asked. I nodded, unbuttoning my school shirt. it was a silk black undershirt, could be used as an undergarment or sleepwear. “Hey, I’m just gonna go out to the communal to wash up, okay?”.

“That’s fine, baby”

He smiled, heading off with his toothbrush and towel. Once the door shut, I with a I slid off my socks. I then stood up and took off my skirt. The clothing fit me kind of snug, but I didn’t mind. I lay back and waited for him patiently.

His shower was quick, well, in my opinion it was. His hair gave off a brisk scent, as he lay next to me. His eyes looked weak as he hug his face into my chest. It wasn’t in a weird way or anything, so I simply assumed he was tired. “Are you sleepy, yet?”. He nodded, his face in deeper. “I’m really sleepy,” he said softly. I ran my fingers through his hair like before and let him sleep. Watching how at ease he was in my embrace soothed me to rest. According to Hajime, he was usually a light sleeper. The slightest touch or noise would wake him up. He would shift around or mumble in his sleep. This time, it was different.

It was peaceful.

The next morning, I woke up and put on yesterday’s clothes. When I got to putting on my shoes, I felt him move behind me. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” I said sweetly. “Good morning, angel,” he said, his voice straining as he stretched with a grunt,“Time?”.

“9:30”

He got up and threw on a pair of clothes that I have never seen him in. “You want a ride home?,” he asked,“I meet with the board today at 10. If I take you home now, I can make it back in good time”. I nodded, going hand in hand with him after he had put his shoes on.

I never knew Kazuichi drove. I recall him say he had terrible motion sickness, yet here he was driving me home in a borrowed car that had been worked on in the school’s auto shop class. I had nothing else to talk about and the silence was killing me. “So you can drive?”.

“I can drive”

“What about your motion sickness?”

He clicked his tongue. “Yeah, that’s always been there, always will be,” he began to explain,“but I’ve learned to ignore it”. He put his arm around me, smiling. I smiled, yet I was terrified. What if I wasn’t enough to make him stay? As he drove, I noticed he had nothing in mind. With Kazuichi, you can always tell when there’s something on his mind. Always. He’ll squint, mouth some words to himself...that’s how you know. It began to overwhelm me and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry knowing there was possibly nothing I can say or do for him to stay. He may know I love him, but what if the timing was off?

Oh, well.

We arrived at my home, him walking me up to my doorstep. He kissed me, his smile dropping afterward. Fuck, he must’ve noticed... “Hey, is everything okay?”. I nodded. “Okay,” he said, uncertainty in his tone,“Well, text me if anything!”. I nodded, a faint smile on my face. I headed inside and lay in bed.

My memory of that Saturday and the Sunday that followed are fogged. I don’t remember leaving my room, let alone my house. Monday came around. I was nervous. I walked down the halls, Sonia standing and an expression of worry spread across her face. “Sonia,” I said,“What’s wrong?”. She gulped and I knew nothing positive would come out of this.

“Hajime hasn’t seen Kazuichi all day”

My eyes widened and I wanted to pass out. “No, that can’t be!”. I didn’t want to feel this. It was all guilt. Why, though? Everything seemed fine when we had last seen each other, it made no sense. “You haven’t talked to him?,” she asked. I shook my head. Sonia sighed. “Okay,” she began,“We have government today. Your only class with him. All we have to do is wait and then we’ll know for sure”. I nodded, trying not to let emotions get to me.

Now in government, I waited, We all did. None of us had heard a word from him. Soon enough, an hour passed: no Kazuichi. Tearful, my eyes shut as I placed my head on my table. Hajime walked up to me. “If its in any consolation at all,” he began,“Kazuichi really did like you. He loved you. I’m sure he knew you loved him”.

“Why the fuck do you make it sound like he’s dead?”

“I see how it would sound like so. I’m just gonna leave my words at that”

My eyes were burning and a headache began growing. Suddenly, there was pounding on thr door, pounding that startled the class. The teacher sighed. The knock was that of a late student, which obviously would’ve annoyed her considering this is a 65 minute class and it had been an hour or so. A student volunteered for the door and there stepped in a distressed Kazuichi.

“WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TEXT ME?!?”

I sniffled and my heart was beating out of my chest when I heard his voice and saw his face. “Kazuichi?!”. I ran up to him and hugged him, he was tense. “I was so worried,” he said. “That makes two of us”. I kissed him, he asked if I was okay and I nodded so frantically. “I didn’t text because I was sad!”. He hugged me tighter, kissing my forehead. I looked into his eyes, falling in love. Then I had realized one thing. “Wait”. He looked at me,“What’s up?”.

“WHY ARE YOU SO LATE?!”

“I HAD AN EYE EXAM!”

He walked to the teacher and handed her a doctor’s note. “You know I can’t mark you present right?,” she said. “You can’t mark me absent either, miss”. Yeah, he wasn’t the best student here. He walked back up to me and kissed me. “There’s like 2 minutes left,” he said,“Can we leave?”.

“Just go”

Being a nuisance paid off as we were all let out early. He grabbed my book bag and ran with me, pulling me by the hand. He took me to the back of the school, yeah, the very back behind the gym. I sat in his lap as he kissed me once more harder, now that no one was watching. I then faced him. “I thought you were leaving,” I whined. He ran his hands through my hair. “I was going to,” he said,“but I couldn’t do that to you, or to myself”. We sat in silence till I said,“Who would’ve thought?”.

“Yeah, in a million years, huh? What year we in?”

“Shut up”

I kissed him and felt him smile against my lips. “Don’t change, Kazuichi”. “Don’t plan on it,” he said,“I love you”. “I love you too”.

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dibs4ever · 6 years ago

Text

Grayson delivery (Fanfic)

Barbara took a deep breath running her hand over her swollen belly. She glanced at the clock, 12am. There were only 2 hours left of Dick’s patrol. He was filling in as Batman tonight, due to Bruce currently being mia.

“Hang in there little one, just give us a couple more hours” she spoke to her stomach

The contraction had passed, Barbara quickly marked how long it had lasted and the time. With son she had labored for 12 hours, her contractions had just started an hour ago and we're currently 20 minutes apart. She didn’t want to call Dick and rush him. But she could get everything ready.

She pulled out her phone dialing it, after a few rings there was an answer “Hey Steph, ya busy?”

“No, I have the night off remember? “ came her reply

Barbara smiled thankful the fellow female ‘bat’ was awake. “I know it’s an odd time but do you think you could come get Nathan?” She tiptoed down the hall peering into her 3-year-olds bedroom. She smiled seeing him fast asleep cuddling his Krypto the super dog stuffed animal

“Oh my God! Is it time?” Stephanie’s excited voice rang through

“Yeah, my contractions started about an hour ago. I’m gonna wait till Dick gets home to tell him. But I figured I’d make sure we are ready to go when he gets here.”

Barbara went back to her computer and sat down looking over everyone’s status.

“Okay, let me just clean up a little bit and I’ll be there to get him” Stephanie sounded eager

Barbara chuckled “Alright sounds good, see you then”

She let out a sigh feeling another contraction making its way in.

20 minutes later Stephanie helped herself into Grayson Manor, upon not seeing anyone in the house she figured Barbara was down in the “Nightcave”

“Hey Babs” Stephanie smiled seeing the redhead at the computer

“Hey Steph, I didn’t hear you come in. Thanks for getting here so quick. Come on we will get the car seat and his bag in your car before we get him ” she waved as they went back up the stairs

Stephanie carefully picked up her nephew from his bed not wanting to wake him.

Barbara walked with them to the car and kissed her sleeping son's forehead before quietly shutting the door

“Don’t worry Tim and I will take good care of him” Stephanie assured

Barbara nodded “I—ughh” she groaned resting her hand on her belly

Stephanie watched awkwardly as Barbara took deep breaths, she closed her eyes tightly. Letting out a groan

“Babs, you sure you don’t need to call Dick?” Stephanie asked

Barbara shook her head “No if I call him he’ll freak out. You remember how long it took with Nate.”

Stephanie nodded “How far apart are they now?”

Barbara took another breath “About 15 minutes, last for around 20” she took another breath. “Getting a little stronger. But he should be back in a little over an hour. I’ll be fine” she assured

Stephanie eyed her “Okay, well keep me updated” she gave her a quick hug before leaving

Dick arrived on time, with Damian in tow still dressed in his Robin suit. “Hey Babs, hope you don’t mind Dami is gonna stay the-“ he paused when he saw his wife hunched over in pain

“Babs?” He rushed over to her side “Babs are you?”

Barbara nodded “Yeah” she gasped

“Why didn’t you call?”Dick asked holding her hand

Barbara shook her head “I didn’t want you to worry” she gasped squeezing his hand “But we need to get going, they’re only 5 minutes apart and last for 30 minutes”

Dick nodded “Dami, grab the bags from our room please and meet us in the car” he instructed

Damian shook his head “Grayson I will not be going with you while your wife is laboring in the same vehicle. Besides, I’m still in my suit”

Dick glared at his brother “Damian, I am not leaving you here alone. Now, get the bags and meet me in the car. We are going to Leslie’s clinic anyways so it’s not like she doesn’t know who you are” Dick ordered he didn’t give the boy any time to respond before he walked out the door with Barbara.

10 minutes later they were driving down the road whipping in and out of traffic. Damian in the back seat, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl planted on his face.

“Ugh” Barbara groaned clenching her teeth and squeezing the armrests. She kicked her shorts off.

Dick glanced over at her then back at the road “Babs how long have you been in labor?” He questioned as they pulled up to a stop light

Barbara inhaled sharply “Like-3 hours” she breathed heavily

The light changed and he continued driving toward Leslie’s clinic “We should be there in about 20 minutes he assured her

Barbara shook her head “Ugh no I can’t “

“Can’t what?” Damian spoke up

Barbara’s eyes flickered toward Damian then back to Dick in the driver's seat “Can’t wait that long” she reached down “Oh no Dick pull over”

Dick looked over to see Barbara kicking off her panties, Damian quickly looked away “Babs!” Dick quickly pulled into an empty parking lot “What’s wrong?” He asked putting the car in gear

Barbara took a second to answer taking deep breaths “Dick, this baby is coming now.” She said in a low voice

Dick shook his head “No the baby can’t come now, we aren’t at Leslie’s cl-“

Barbara cut him off “I’m telling you we are not going to make it to the clinic, Dick” She clenched her teeth “She’s gonna have to meet us here I won’t make it there”

Dick’s eyes widened “Babs come on we have to try, what if she doesn’t get here? I can’t deliver a baby on the side of the road”

“Not necessarily Grayson, you know in some cultures men----” Damian spoke

Barbara’s head quickly whipped around to the 13-year-old in the back seat “Not now Damian” she growled before letting out a groan throwing her head back “It’s coming”

Dick quickly unbuckled his seat belt and rushed to the passenger side. When he got there and saw the scene that had previously been out of his view, his eyes widened, he was thankful his younger brother couldn’t see anything “Dami call Leslie” he ordered then redirected his attention to Barbara “You’re right Babs. This Baby is going to be born very soon” he went to grab her hand but she quickly slapped it “Of course I know that!!! I’ve only been telling you that for 5 minutes.”

Dick didn’t respond—-he didn’t know what to say

Barbara let out a loud groan “Ugh Damian is she coming to meet us” she pleaded

“She’s not answering,” Damian said blankly

“Then keep trying damn it! Mmmph my whole body is begging me to push!” She snapped “Don’t know” she let out a breath “How much long--I can hold back”

Dick reached up cupping her face “Then push Babs. I’ll take care of you” he kissed her forehead quickly before lowering himself back down

Barbara took a deep breath and began pushing, Dick watched cautiously while Damian plugged his ears, covered his face with his cape and continued trying to get ahold of Leslie

“Come on Babs, I can see the head. One more push and I think it’ll be over “ he instructed

Barbara nodded clenching onto the car seat.

A few seconds later Dick smiled an infant cradled in his arms. Intuition telling him to rub it, the infant soon began to cry “Its a girl” he smiled down at the naked baby. “I can’t believe it the first female born Grayson in 100 years” he looked at his new daughter in disbelief

Damian peaked out from under his cape, and Barbara released a sigh of relief “It’s here, Grayson delivered it” Damian spoke into the phone on his ear.

“Leslie says you need to cut the cord and wrap the infant in something to keep it warm” he instructed.

Dick reached into his glove box and got a sewing kit he kept there (a habit Alfred instilled in him) and a first aid kit using both items he had the necessary tools to tie off and cut the cord.

“Okay blanket” Dick glanced around while lightly bouncing his new still naked and bloody crying daughter “Dami, give me your cape”

Damian shook his head “What no?” He grabbed it protectively

Dick nodded “Yes, it’s made to keep you warm during the winter months it’s perfect to wrap your new niece in, you wouldn’t want her to be cold would you?”

Letting out a sigh Damian quickly unclasped his cape and handed it to Dick, he quickly wrapped his daughter, wiping her off a little in the process. “Babs she has red hair!” He said a huge grin on his face

Barbara gave him a sleepy smile “Are you gonna let me hold our daughter or what Hunk Wonder”

Dick chuckled lightly and gently handed her to Barbara “She’s perfect” she said looking the baby over “All thanks to you” she looked at her husband

Dick shook her head “I did the easy part....putting her in and taking her out” he teased standing up, he leaned forward pecking her lips then looked down at his new daughter

“Told you She was a girl. And all you kept saying was that there hadn’t been a female born Grayson since your great great grandfather’s sister” Barbara smiled tiredly up at him

Dick chuckled lightly “I should have never doubted you, you’re always right” he ran his thumb gently over the top of his daughters head.

“You're getting me a new cape Grayson” Damian interrupted

Dick nodded “Of course,” he said not taking his eyes off the baby in Barbara’s arms “What a better way for our new princess to be added to the family then to be wrapped in a bat cape huh?”

With that thought, even Damian couldn’t fight back a small smile while he looked at his new niece.

#Dickbabs #dick grayson #barbara gordon #batgirl #oracle #nightwing #Damian Wayne #robin #Stephanie Brown #spoiler #Tim Drake #Red Robin #batman #batfamily #batfamily headcanons #batfamily au #batfam imagine #batfam fanfiction

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alliebruns-blog · 6 years ago

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Races, Recces and Adventures for 2019

First off SORRY FOR NOT DOING BLOGS (to the 3 people that read them)

2019 has already been quite the year. Let’s get the excuses in, shall we? I have finally moved out of London to lovely sleepy Somerset – home of the Mendips, hills and lots of cows. The running here is ace and I feel like I have finally shaken off the horror of 23 years in London. But it’s a big change – the first month I felt like I was on a different planet – then I had to find work (you know that thing that actually pays you?) So I took a step back from internets for a bit.

Another reason for lack of bloggage. It seems I have been writing them for everyone else but me this year. For some reason my inbox went a bit mad and I’ve been asked to write pieces, blogs and interviews for a Bulgarian Travel and Adventure Magazine (apparently I am going to be on the cover?!), Run Deep, Precision Hydration, Lessons in Badassery, Dure, Red Bull and Trail Running Magazine. Plus, I have to do my day job. And look after 4 dogs. And a 9 year-old (not mine but sort of is mine now….) and a man human. Jokes. He’s looking after me.

So what’s been going on? EVERYTHING HAS. 2019 started with BBR trotting over the The National Running Show in Birmingham where we had a stand and I gave a couple of talks. I was I the throws of a horrendous depressive episode and had to attempt to put a face on. I still wasn’t over Panama really. I think it took me about 3 months to get over it in the end. I had to do a talk on a panel about mental health and running (oh the irony) and then my own talk about running across deserts, jungles and that.

It was very difficult attempting to inspire people when I actually felt like a piece of shit. The show itself was ace and weirdly we have been asked to come back – but more on that a bit later.

I got out in January and February to do a couple of reccees for White Star Running. The weather was JOKES bad. 60mph winds and rain made for a very interesting trot along the coast.

We were checking the route for Septembers Run Jurassic races which are going to be amazing. Have a look at what’s on offer here - and rest assured that it shouldn’t be weather like this on the day…..

Then came the first race of the year - Larmer Tree Marathon in Dorset. Lest gusty with 40-50 mph winds making for another interesting run, and it was also Pickle the ultra dogs first official marathon – she loved it. Look at her little face!

Then it was off to Bulgaria to do some talking about running. Myself and David from the Bad Boy Running Podcast were asked to go and do a talk at a running expo they had there and it was MEGA fun – defo returning nest year to do the 100KM ultra they are organising – it’s BEAUTIFUL in Sofia.

Back home and it was off to Rat Race’s Ultra Tour of Arran for the second year. 62 miles over 2 days with “some” elevation (A LOT) and some demons to slay. As you know I did NOT enjoy this last year - my fear of heights and ledges almost got the better of me, but this year was different. We had about 10 Do-Badders with us and some of them were first time ultra runners, so I felt a bit like I had a duty of care to them.

As part of my role with Rat Race, I did a little talk to people about the Bucket List which was great and I managed to get round the course with the whole squad without crying. Only issue was I ended up with an eye infection that meant I couldn’t wear my contacts. This is not recommended on mountainous trails. I fell over 3 times - my knee looked like someone had gone at it with a rifle. It really knocked my confidence for trails and I have been super careful ever since. I really hate falling over.

Arran was beautiful and epic as always. I cannot recommend this race enough. Its otherworldly out there. Here are some pictures – the weather was so kind to us. If you get booking it now it’s pretty cheap – or even better register for a rat race season ticket and it sort of pays for itself!

Next up was London marathon. It was my sixth year and I wasn’t looking forward to it having only just really moved away. I used to love this race, but I had done so little in the form of road running I was dreading it a bit. So I decided to spice it up by running it in reverse to the start and then running it the right way round.I need some night running experience for later I the year so why not? I also wanted to raise money for my old friend Scott who we lost to suicide last year. If you want to give a few quid, the charity has been set up now and you can find it here.

We got up at 12am after 3 hours sleep and got our stuff together – we were running with a couple of friends starting at Birdcage walk. We decided on a 5-6 hour time as I had the real thing later on, and this was a training run ultimately. That didn’t go to plan and we ended up smashing out 20 miles in about 3 hours – meaning as we came into Greenwich everything was shut. ARGH! I need coffee! I’ve never waited for a Macdonalds to open, but that day I did! We decided to march out the last 6 miles as we had the time and my legs were already staging a protest about the relentless road pounding they were getting. Once we reached the start we headed over to a hotel on Blackheath where my amazing friend and Head of Crew™ was staying.

We had the BEST BREAKFAST EVER and got I got changed into fresh kit and then it was time to do it all over again. I forgot how much waiting about there was at London. I think I stood in the pen for about an hour, little legs seizing up, feeling cold for once. London is usually boiling. I took a minute to look around at the people running. Lots of them were doing their first and only marathon. Some of them made me want to cry. I saw a guy dressed in a bin bag looking nervous, fiddling with his headphones. He has a message scrawled on his arm in sharpie – obviously written buy one of his kids. It said “I love you daddy and I am proud of you”. He kept looking at it. It made me want to cry. Sometimes humans can be wonderful. I bumped into the legend that is Anna Mcnuff in my start pen. She wasn’t wearing any shoes. Brilliant. She’s running the length of Britain barefoot so was a training run. I had SO MANY QUESTIONS but she seemed very cool about the whole thing. She really is relentlessly cheerful, that woman.

Then we were off. I felt pretty good considering the fact I had already done it once that day. As always there were huge crowds and bottlenecks and I was running a lot faster than I had done in a while. You can’t help it at London. You kind of get swept along. I was very wary of eating and drinking – I hadn’t eaten much during the night run and I am used to picnics on ultras now. I tried to take it easy but it felt easier to run at pace so I did what felt good. For once I wasn’t wearing a pack and it’s amazing how much that frees you to go a bit faster. I was relying on the water stops for all my hydration and that worked.

One of the things I really noticed about the marathon this year is the aggro. I am so used to the chilled nature of trail runners that I totally forgot about what happened in New York. Road runners can be total arseholes. There were points when I ran over to the water station, signalling I was doing so, only to be physically bashed on the shoulder by other runners and told to “move out of the fucking way”. When I take water I tend to slow down, walk at pace, finish the water and then run on. It’s pretty obvious. I walk close to the edge so people can pass me. I’m sorry but people need to have a bit more patience. Fucking idiots. ANYWAY I managed to finish in a pretty OK 4 hours 10 mins. Getting out of the mental finish area was awful as always, and I had to meet up with a couple of people because my personal hell wasn’t ending there. I had signed up to help out on a Rat Race private event for the next two days and needed to get to Richmond to drive up to Cirencester. No boozy celebrations for me! So off I went to work with 300 bankers who were out on a jolly for 3 days running, cycling and kayaking 165 miles along the Thames. Wednesday came and I had never been happier to see my bed!

Turns out road running smashed your body up a lot – especially 53 odd miles of it. My back was killing me, my legs hurt. So I did something I am not very good at – I had a bit or a rest. A few days off, runs at the weekend, went to physio. And then, two weeks later, it was time for The Ox Epic.

This is one of my favourite races of the year. Set on the Rushmore Estate in Wiltshire, its a whole weekend of camping and running courtesy of White Star Running. You can choose what race you do. Theres a 10km in the dark, a 10km in the morning, a half marathon and a 50 miler. So what did I choose? I CHOSE THEM ALL. Last year I managed to accidentally win the Epic - this year was a different story. This was a training run for something much bigger.

Once again White Star pulled it out the bag - a beautiful weekend and everything went like clockwork for me and him indoors, despite the fact we had all four dogs on site plus a 9 year old to look after. I managed to keep the same pace for all the races and not feel broken, plus I had a really nice weekend! We ran some laps with the dogs, some without, took out time at the aid stations, walked the hills and ran the flats. All in, we managed to get 76 miles in the bag over the weekend and finished knowing that we could do more. It was a chance to practice fuelling and hydration and catch up with old and new pals. Highly recommended and I will definitely be back next year - perhaps with my eyes on the prize again.

Pretty much everything that I have done in the first part of this year has been pointing towards my one A game race of the year which is happening this weekend (18-19 May). The Climb South West Devon Coast to Coast Ultra. I signed up last year on a whim. It’s 117 miles from the south coast to the north coast of Devon non-stop. This is the furthest I have run without a break, so it really is a huge deal to me to get through it. We’ve been out and about doing a couple of back to back weekend recees to see what the route is like. It’s self nav and we will run a lot of it in the dark. It runs along the Two Moors Way, across Dartmoor and Exmoor, through some horrendous terrain. There are a lot of muddy bridleways, fields and hardly any markings.

Elevation is mental – it literally feels like your going up hill all the time. It’s a really important race for me because it’s one I am not sure I can do. I have a plan A. B. C and D in place but I can’t see myself finishing in under 39 hours. Will I finish at all? Dunno. Stay tuned I guess….

So yeah, a lot has gone on so far this year, and there are some awesome plans in the pipeline for the rest of the year.

Adventure time! AGAIN!

I am resurrecting my position as Rat Race Test Pilot for 2019-2020 and doing 4 big recees this year, as well as pretty much all the events.

June sees me travel to Spain for the Sea to Summit test pilot outing. The highest mountain in mainland Spain is 80km from the coast. Our route connects a start line on a beautiful beach on the Costa Tropical to the summit of Mulhacen (3482m) via a tough 2 day running route, giving 2 marathons back to back and nearly 4000m vertical height gain. No biggie. Plus it’s going to be BOILING and we start at 2am to try and avoid the sun. This is Ben Nevis twice in a day. Fun.

August sees me trotting off to Malta for The Maltese Falcom. There are 3 islands that make up Malta. This ia a full traverse of the island chain. 3 disciplines. Run across Gozo. Kayak to Comino. Swim from Comino to Malta. Run across Malta. Hot. Historic. Warm sea. An island totally geared up for Endurance sport. And all in one day. Another world first.

In September I am off to Scotland to do something I have always dreamt off. A full coast to coast traverse of Scotland on foot. This is a west-coast-to-east-coast outing, n foot, over 6 days. The difference here is that Rat Race have devised a route that encompasses crossings of water and the use of some rivers and lochs, for which we will carry and use pack-rafts. This very unique route means we will hike or run, get to a body of water, use the raft to cross it or traverse it and then carry on by foot. An insane format in a simply stunning setting and incredibly remote area. The route goes from a starting location at Mallaig to finish just north of Inverness. This is the wildest country in the British Isles. We will be vehicle supported for some of the outing; and then self-contained (pack on back) for a significant portion of the rest. Almost 100% off-road. And in September. Be kind, weather!

October I will return to Scotland for a multi day traverse of the Outer Hebrides. Another dream event. It is around 150 miles from the bottom to top of this rugged island archipelago off the West Coast of Scotland. We will attempt this journey over 6 days. We’ve not quite worked out the logistics on this (have I not learnt anything from Panama??) But I am SO EXCITED TO DO IT!

In November I am travelling back to Namibia to crew for the Race to the Wreck event. That means I get to see the beauty of the desrt from the crew vehicle with a bit of running, but most importantly, it means I get to encourage, help and inspire people to complete the crossing. I would like to thank Rat Race for constantly believing me and allowing me to do these awesome things. I am one lucky piglet.

Also here’s a thing – if you fancy joining me on any of these funtime recees then you can – just drop me an email here for more details.

I am also doing a few other things in between mega adventures to keep up the training and fly the flag for Rat Race and White Star. There’s the Dorset Invader Marathon, the Man Vs Series, the Run Jurassic Series, Ultra Tour of Edinburgh, not to mention my first Threshold event at Race To the King. Basically it’s BUSY. But I am happy. And that’s the most important thing.

Finally – big announcement – Bad Boy Running are thrilled to have been asked to curate a new section at The National Running Show 2020. We have been given the honour of curating the Ultra Zone – a brand new zone that focuses completely on Ultras. We have our own stage, our own guests and our own talks and panels, We are in charge. We will be announcing out line up in the next month or so but if I were you I would get your tickets NOW because you DO NOT want to miss this. You can get your free ones here using my code AMB18. We have some of the biggest names in Ultra running confirmed and it’s going to be mega. You can register for your free ticket here. Massive thank to Mike for believing in us (and trusting us – he may regret this….)

I’m also going to try and bet better at this blogging thing – I have a lot to write about so not short on material – it’s just the time. Having said that I am happy to write for anyone else that fancies it. Just drop me a line and I will take a look at it. So yeah. That’s it. Whirlwind update done. See you next week. If I survive.

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lovlettres-moved · 6 years ago

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i have lost all the motivation to write this newsletter lol, i will try to exercise my mind tomorrow. its almost 12am and i am very sleepy gotta wake up at around 6 plus i know i wont sleep before 1am anyways goodnight. take care <3 love u

#mine

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09shell-sea09 · 6 years ago

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Currently

I accidentally made my brother think our house was possessed. Oops?

Explanation: What I puzzled together after he explained, causing me to laugh so very much.

Last night I got up to get a bottle water and intentionally didn't close the door that leads to where we store our water bottles because I heard someone coming. Thinking it was my dad, I basically quickly sneaked to my room and pretended to sleep. And I thought that was the end to it. Apparantly before I went to get a bottle of water my brother had done the same thing, he got a water, closed the door, and left for his room.

Mind this he was probably was up around 12 or 1 am, and I did my little sneaky sneak at 2am.

Turns out the person I heard was my bro coming cuz he had heard a door open quietly, he tried to ignore it ,but you know those scenarios you get in your head of "what if someone broke in" etc, yeah. he had those ,so he had that so he had to go check.

Basically mine and his room are in a hallway that eventually leads to the back door. (Creepy at shit sometimes)On the left is a restroom and to the left of the rr is where we keep some waters( cuz we're too lazy to go get water in the kitchen) and in front of the water room is my room which is to the right of his room. So he peaks out his room in his sleepy haze, walks to the back door to make sure its shut correctly, sees nothing amis from there, or the restroom or my room. but apparantly to his shock he sees the water room open. He thinks, "I closed this" as he slowly peaks in, sees nothing, feels shivers down his back, quickly closes the door and speed walks to his room.

Now at 12am the next night after his apperant experience, hes telling me the occurances while I struggle not to burst out laughing when I realize I accidentally made him think something paranormal was in the house. Cuz he was sure as hell it was a ghost or something.

I feel so guilty and entertained all at once. My bro isn't a kid at all, but I'm still older and I find it so hilarious that I managed to creep him out without even trying.

#ghost?#nope nope nope #whoops #my bad #siblings #funnyish?

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glittergothqueeen · 4 years ago

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Again.

So I have been into like a faze where a lot of thngs can actually happen and I still only will blog about it here when I feel like its the moment or when I actually have time. I have been very busy latley and ugh. I have a lot to write about. So there was a party / Rave last weekend. You guess correcly he was there and he was actually going to be playing. You see I actually really wanted to blog about this because it was like a phase or changing moment in my life where I just literally did not give a flying fuck , and yes it was payback night.

Weeks ago his bestfriend called me , and I think at this point when I reffer to “him” it’s my dumb ass ex bf. Honestly it might seem crazy how I always some how manage to write some shit about him but this was like an important climax in my life. So his bestfriend had insited for me to go, my friends are mostly all from el valle de Mexicali, so I know if they are actually going to come to a party all the way over here to the city , well its legit a big party. So I had been doubting forever if I should go or not. I thought it was pointless and actually didnt want him to seem I wanted to see him or something. You know , I hit up my besfriend she was down to go and was actually going to sleep over at my house. The day comes I get my bitch make up on , and ofcourse comfy clothes cause hello, its a damn rave. So we get there like at 12am and sweet lord my stomach dropped to my fucking feet when I felt all the vibes. Honestly I felt like such a coviditot because Covid is not over , and you know it-s still a damn deal to go out and be exposed. I saw a lot of people , and one of my ex bfs friend that hit on me months ago with his gf , I saw him , I saw everyone but I was with my friends minding my buisness. When I saw him but ignored him . It was pretty kick back there was a lot of people,drugs , alcohol, you name it , it was there. It wasnt till the moment I was walking outside and I almost bumped into him I looked up and there he was this fucking guy who literally was in control of everyone of my damn emotions at a point of my life and for many years, I didn’t wanna seem so damn disrespectful so “Hey Orlando, how are you” came out of my mouth. We said our hellos , he smiled at me , that damn fucking smile , that fucking smile. I kept my bitch face on we talked for less than a minute and there I walked out , his friend stared at me and I could feel just the tension. I walked outside with my friend and she said I handled it like an adult and she was proud of me.

So I know this plays a big role in this whole story but there is a guy. A guy who has been following me on instagram for months I would say like 2 years and well honeslty I though he was a fuckboy for some reason , we had like a conversation of wanting to meet up someday or go out but its just one of those things that never actually happen. Earlier that day of the party I had messaged him to see if he wanted to go , but I didnt think he was actually wanting to go. So while in the rave this guy comes up to me and hes like “Hey do you know who I am ?” and yes , it was him. I had totally forgotten his damn name I just knew he did Graffiti. So I was like “The graffiti guy?” he laiughed we talked for a bit but he was like with some friends. Yes the devil started getting ahold of my soul and I had an idea. My ex was standing at the door way , and I went over where this new guy “the graffiti guy” and he started talking to me I went outside right where mt ex was at and I started talking to my new Instagram guy. I just saw Orlando looking at us and then I walked away. I wanted him to know I was over him , and have him notice I can get someone hotter than him. I did the same in the rave and danced in front of him. I felt like an Euphoria moment and yes I was Maddy.

So this guy never left my side and he actually kisssed me , I was so damn suprised because I was not fucking expecting that , like no please dont do that. It was not even like a make out kiss , it was like a 3 second peak kind of kiss. I smiled and just avoided making any emphasis. Not sure if Orlando saw that.

It was 4am and my friend was so sleepy so we decided to leave , I said good bye to my new Instagram guy, and I actually said good bye to Orlando we talked for a bit and for once I felt such a peace , I could tell in the look in his eyes he was just on some trippy acid shit or some damn drug because of his eyes. He said I hope you take really good care and he gave me the biggest hug ever. He hugged me and I felt the peace I wanted from his end as well.

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whatshethinks · 4 years ago

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What happened?

BUT OK, MONDAY NIGHT AROUND 7pm - he picked me up at KFC Marisol and then I got him fries and burger. And he was like whaaat you didnt hafto! I was like i know its cool

And then we got into his car, and he was all giddy and I was too, definitely. And then, I hand fed him fries and he was shooketh. And then I was like jeez, just eat it already. Hahaha! Tapos ayun he got used to me handfeeding him the fries and shit.

Then I was like hey where are you taking me (eh before when he was back in Cali, we talked about how I had a dream about him and I having sex at Clark, CDC parade grounds) and he was like Im taking us to CDC HAHAHAHA

And then otw to Clark, I was asking him questions about his life like who he lives with in Cali, if he prefers his mom than his dad HAHAHA

So he was answering them, okay. Happily. So i kept going. Once we got to CDC, we just had parked car conversations. And we was eating fries (he's conscious about his diet so he tries so hard not to eat as many fries) and then while I was talking and singing he would just stare at me. Dead ass serious like stare like SEXY stare, like IM GOING TO KISS YOU NOW stare.

Ofc I was a tease, so I came close to his face and said "what are you doing?" in a sexy voice (at least I thought it was sexy) and then he was brushing my face and hair with his fingers

Okay so! THE STARE. That fucking stare, was so fucking sexy and shit I can cum just by his stare. Ive never had someone stare at me that way before.

So he was staring at me! And I was wearing this baggy knitted sweater from H&M and while he was staring, I was lowkey tryna make the sleeves fall off my shoulder like the slut I am. So his californian ass was like: damn mami

And then, I was singing Ivy - Frank Ocean, cause thats what was playing. And he suddenly kissed me. And we started making out you know, and he was grabbing my tits and shit, thank god they grew. And then he was like "oh my god" I was like "hehe what, why?"

And then, I got all heated up. I took off my sweater! And I was wearing a bra and jeans only by this time, and he was like "fuck, you're so hot" and then he would bite his lips and stop and just stare at my tits. Like as if they're the biggest tits he's ever seen. Validation right there for me!

And then, things are getting heated. He was trying to remove my pants, I said "adrian" and he would get his hands off immediately off me. Which was n extra turn on! Cause damn, I like me a good boy too mamas. And then I was kissing his neck. He smelled so good. And thats not even the best part of his body yet.

I went and touch his peepee, and then damn. That shit was hard as fuck and LONG... So I was like "oh my god" under my breath. And he removed them shorts immediately.

When he removed them, I was like "fuckkkkkk" cause jesus christ. I dove my mouth into that dick real quick!

His groin smells so good. Like every corner and inch. Which is so hard to believe cause he didn't come from his house, he came from a fucking funeral with his friends for fucks sake. How does it smell so good. So ofc, I had to show him my skills. My god, I sucked that dick for so long my jaw almost locked. Long story short, he didn't cum. He face fucked me while standing upin the car (thank you, Toyota Innova for having a huge ass space inside) and then I deepthroated without a doubt.

And then, he wanted to fuck - "wanna get a room?"

Me: Not yet, be patient Adrian: Fine baby

After a few mins, he tried to squeeze my butt but my ass small so barely squeezed anything. But thats okay.

And then I had to remind him I was on my period. He was like "Oh shit I totally forgot about that"

- We were smoking weed too on the drive to Clark, like the vape pen whatever you had before.

And then oh my god, honest to god the way he kisses me was so good. He would hold my face and squeeze my mouth with his hand and just fucking eat my whole face. And god, if someone was taking a video of it - they would have came.

It was the best kiss I've ever had. And then we'd take pauses after a few minutes. And I lied down on his chest and just feel his chest and arms and tattoos. And then, he would trace his fingers on my back and hair and give me FUCKING SMOOCHES.

R O M A N T I C!

So thats the fucking signal I picked up right? Cause who the fuck gives smooches to someone you just wanna fuck??!

Smooches are for "I wanna keep seeing you you adorable slut" not "I will hit you up only when Im horny"

So i was so gooey with all the smooches and the finger tracing and shit. I was rubbing his chest. And all that ROMANCE shit!

After a while, we decided to order takeout from Mcdonalds. And then, I offered to pay. He was like:

What are you doing? Let's half What are you thinking? Stop!!! Put that back

So he grabbed my wallet and fucking threw that shit back in my bag and said

Wag ka maglalabas ng pera pag kasama mo ko

So of course I went all soft and shit, once again!

While we were waiting for our takeout, I hand fed him fries again with caramel sundae this time. He was like "Im more of a chocolate sundae guy" but he still ate. Then he ate his burger. And then it was so cute cause the servers from McDonalds came out to deliver our food, and there were two of them... and they were all giggling and shit when they handed the 1 pc of burger and giggling when they left too.

I was like, "oooh they like you" He was like "they didnt have to go in pairs when they gave us this burger naman diba" I was like "they probably like you"

I wish I could say, thats my boyfriend.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Then he started sharing his life story back in the Philippines. Where he did a feeding program for his birthday 2 years ago and shit. How he got that trait from his mom and all. How he would do that again after a year. Then he dropped me off at Marisol, the gate at the kanto where you have to enter. I didnt let him drop me off at my house per se.

Then while I was fixing my stuff, he was like are you sure you're okay to walk home? I was like, yeah Im a big girl.

And he laughed, and was like "come here baby" and was gesturing a hug. So he hugged and fucking GAVE. ME. SMOOCHES. AGAIN.

I texted him at 6am to ask if I left my brella in his car. And then he replied at almost 2pm. When I saw that he was online at like 12pm (Facebook). But I brushed it off. Then, his message was dry as usual.

He acknowledged my head and I said we'd transfer to Telegram cause Im at work, but it was just small talk like I asked him when is he gonna pick his dog up downtown so I can meet his dog, Samson. He was like, "Ill def let you meet him, imma take him to CDC some time and you can come with"

And then, I was like Ill look forward to that and shit

And I sent a meme, and he just said "that is me" and I didnt reply na.

I texted him when I got out of work, you know - lowkey dropping hints and shit. And he replied 4 hours later. I just assumed he's with his friends

We talked during dinner and while I waited for his reply, I slept at 12am. And then he replied at 2am. And then I woke up at 5:30am for work, and he said "aga mo nagigising" and I said yeah and he was like "hatid kita sa work" and shit, but as the good girl and angel that I am, I said "No, pahinga ka nalang"

Then when I got out of work again, I asked him where he was at. And he said he just woke up but he was online for hours before that on Facebook. And he had plans with his family for his cousin's birthday and I was like oh okay.

And he said, puntahan kita mamaya? Ofc my heart went oops! Hahaha.

Okay I waited from 6pm to 9pm for him, and I was so tiired and sleepy already and when we met I was like I deserve an apology and he was like, matagal ba? Shet sorry talaga. Sinurprise pa kasi namin cousin ko.

And I was like, yeah a bit but its fine, tulugan nalang kita haha.

And then, I was so tired I couldnt think of a convo. So I asked him where he was planning to take me, and he said, up to you. I was like, anywhere.

And we ended up in a motel LOL. Like jesus christ, how can I say no now.

We got in the motel room, and oh, I forgot to mention on the way to the motel - I told him I got him a gift, cause his bday was on Sept 24th and he was like "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOINNNNNNNNN, WHY DID YOU DO THAT"

He was prolly thinking I got him a watch or something like a scrapbook, LMFAO.

Then when we got to the motel, I gave him my gift, which was weed. I was like, I picked those up from the streets. And he was like "oh shiiiiit, you didnt have to" I was like, I know it no biggie.

Then he was like, "shit babyyyy, thank you"

And then we lied down and I was wearing a mini skirt and sweater. And he saw skirt go up and he was like "oh fuck" and then we made out and then I removed my sweater, and bra he was like "oh my god"

And then he slipped my panties to the side, and oof I liked that very much, thank you. And then, from missionary, we went to doggy. And then he was like - can I cum inside, and I didnt hear him the first time and the second time, so the third time, he was like "can. i cum. inside?" and I said, oh yeah go.

"are you sure?" "Yes haha"

and then he fucking did, it was so hot.

The sex is not as good as Kyle, as well as the dick feels. Ya know!? Hahaha but I dont mind.

and then I went to pee and I showed him my underwear with his cum on it LMFAO. And then he was like shookth

And then, we watched Rick and Morty for a while and then he turned the TV on and then in the movie, there was a funeral. And he switched it off, we ended up watching 1 ep of Brooklyn 99 and then we sang the intro of B99 together, unscripted. How cute was that. Cute as fuck.

Then you know how high people laugh, theyre just like "he.he.he" that was our laugh all through out the episode. HAHAHAHA we cute as fuck.

Then someone called him, a guy. I was assuming it was his cousin or something. Asking him what time he'll be home and where he's at.

Ever since then, he felt so uneasy. And off... I was making out with him, he was hard but it would just die. We were blaming the aircon LMFAO, and then I was like hey its okay. So we ended up spooning instead and he was playing with my titties and then, we tried again. And then, he got hard and died again. He was like "fuckkk so sorry baby, I've never had this problem before haha idk why its acting up right now"

I was like hey its okay, so I gave him head. And we started trying again, then ayun after a few mins. He was able to cum, and he came on my pussy naman.

We cuddled after cleaning up, and then he was staring into space, I was like whats wrong? You okay?

Yeah I am, why whats wrong? Ikaw ok ka lang?

Me: Yeah Im okay, you seem off lang

Adrian: No, wala wala. Dont mind me..

Me: Aww, its gonna be okay.

Adrian: De kasi, kanina sa movie may nakita akong coffin... naaala ko sya (his bestfriend who died whos the reason why hes back in the PH)

Me: oh shit, sorry.

And then he was like, no its okay... And then I was like you wanna bounce na ba?

Adrian: Ok lang ba? Kasi I actually have to go.

Me: What, of course its okay. I get it!

A: You sure ha? Feel ko galit ka...

Me: What, noo come here. *kissed*

A: Sorry talaga

Then we checked out

The trip back home was awkward but we kissed goodbye and shit. And then the awkward texts came.

also forgot to mention, I asked why didnt he cum on my face and he was like: well I still wanted to kiss you after (:

#adrian

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claspywrites · 6 years ago

Photo

I Stayed Up For 24 Hours; Here's What It Did to Me

(from Gizmodo.com)

Research has shown that poor sleep can negatively affect a person’s physical and mental well-being. But sometimes we need to prove things to ourselves by making poor decisions.

I recently stayed up for 24 hours because I wanted to know how depriving myself of sleep for a full day would actually feel. Maybe I could beat it, maybe I’d need less sleep than I thought I’d need, maybe I’d find out I’m a superhero who doesn’t need sleep. What happened, you ask? I kept a diary during the entire experience, so you can find out all about it without actually staying up for 24 hours yourself. Here we go!

8am: I just woke up from a dream where I stayed up all night and got tired. In the dream. This is not a great sign.

9am: To kick off my day, I went to a high-intensity workout class for an hour. This was a mistake for many reasons, the most immediate being that I’m very out of shape, and I want a nap right away. Isn’t working out supposed to make you feel energized? Off to grab a coffee for some manufactured energy!

3pm: I just recorded my podcast (when you move to LA you have to start a podcast). I feel great. I only mentioned that I’m staying up 24 hours five or six times while “on the air” (a little podcast term originating in radio; maybe you’ve heard other audio professionals use it). I’d compare this 24 hour marathon to when people can’t stop talking about doing CrossFit or being on a juice cleanse, except I’m doing something clinically proven to be unhealthy.

5pm: I’m overdoing it with coffee and it was a bad idea. I have to slow down or my heart is going to explode.

6pm: The cure for too much coffee is going for a drink with coworkers. This is fine, right?

7:30pm: Well I had two drinks and yeah, I’m fine, but oh jeez, I’m not NOT wishing for a nap. Day drinking is not a good idea, especially when your day has 12.5 more hours in it.

8:30pm: 11.5 hours in, and I’m feeling great! This is easy. Bring it on, baby. My Facebook memories reminded me that eight years ago today I made a post that said “Sleep is for suckers.” I’m surely as resilient as I was eight years ago. I am young! I don’t need sleep! This confidence is surely not covering up a sleepy fear!

10pm: I did a wild improv comedy show where we played cavemen afraid of pterodactyls. After the show everyone went home because they had work in the morning, those cowards! Who will party with me all night?

11pm: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson will party with me. Now is a perfect time to go see Skyscraper. Hot tip: Parking at the mall is GREAT at 11pm.

11:15pm: I’m having a very late dinner (a movie theater hot dog and candy), but should I pace this out even further? Will another dinner at 3am keep me going?

11:45am: The Rock can do anything. He’s climbing a bunch of crazy buildings and trying to save his family from this tall ass skyscraper, a seemingly impossible feat. What a king.

12am: Can you imagine the Rock with hair right now? Like, long, flowing, shoulder length hair. That’s fun.

12:10am: Credit where credit’s due, Neve Campbell and this cast are real badasses. I don’t fully understand the villains’ motivations, but I don’t care. I also forget what this diary was for. Now it’s all about Skyscraper.

12:30am: No spoilers, but I think this is the best movie of all time.

1am: I’m not a big club person, but maybe I should go to the club now? I just asked Siri about clubs that are open, but she’s not very helpful. Siri hates clubbing.

1:20am: LA’s hottest club is 7-11. They have everything: Easy Mac, energy drinks, every kind of gum, a man telling me I only have 40 more minutes to buy wine. You know me too well, wine man, but tonight I’m drowning my sorrows in candy.

1:30am: My cat is loving this experiment. He’s somehow both fully asleep on my lap and upset when I stop petting him. Must be nice, dude.

2:45am: I’m watching a show on Netflix about a couple that is renovating a boat so they can live in it. It’s not a houseboat. Why renovate a house that could float away or sink? This is dumb. I can’t stop watching.

2:50am: Now it’s the house of a guy who put a urinal in his basement. I have stopped watching.

4am: I’m bouncing back and forth between rom coms and superhero movies, while playing Civilization V on my computer. If I was this productive in real life with things that mattered I’d be a millionaire.

4:30am: I bet The Rock just woke up to go to the gym right now. He’s perfect. I will do one push-up in his honor.

4:32am: Push-ups are hard when your body is doing its best to just keep you from lying down.

5am: Ooh, my back hurts. This is no way to live. I’m also not hungry, but here I am eating chips. I don’t want any more chips, but they keep finding their way into my hands, and I can’t waste chips.

6am: My neck feels like a wobbly Jenga tower on top of a pile of empty cans (that’s my back). My neighbors are waking up at this time. This is an insane time to be awake. For any reason. Everyone who’s awake, go back to sleep.

6:30am: What even is sleep? Turning off your consciousness, but not turning it off, just letting it happen all casual. Consciousness just says “ok, I’ll chill for a bit.” How does that happen? Relaxation? I feel tense as hell. Maybe this is how I’ll feel forever.

7am: This is just who I am now. I have transcended tired. I might feel good? I could maybe go to the gym? I mean, I won’t, let’s not be crazy, I’ll die. Maybe I’ll go for a walk?

7:15am: I take that back. I feel bad and wildly uncomfortable. I’m foggy, woozy even. My back is angry.

7:35am: If I don’t concentrate, I go cross eyed. I’m so close.

8:11am: I made it! I’m even up 11 minutes past the 24 hours. Is that a world record? Gotta be. Oh dang, this bed feels heavenly. I just got a Purple mattress and this thing is legit. I don’t know if I’ve ever described a bed as luxurious, but this one is. It’s like I’m lying on a soft, fluffy field. My back is so happy. I may never get up.

2:30pm: Good morning. It truly is. I’m writing this from my glorious bed. I’ve only had about six hours of sleep, but I feel incredible. I can’t sleep anymore because I want to make sure I get more sleep tonight. I want all the sleep. I still haven’t decided if I will get up or lounge here forever, but I don’t see myself staying away from it for another 24 hours. I enjoyed the adventure and my time with The Rock, but my brain and my back will never forgive me if I do it again.

This post is a sponsored collaboration between Purple and Studio@Gizmodo.

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knifenymph · 8 years ago

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something i’ve noticed 3/30/17

my body is still not caught up to day light savings time yet. for the past couple of nights, i’ve been telling my body to wake me up at certain times, because i’m trying to eventually wake up at like 3am without an alarm so i can astral project. i’m essentially training myself to wake up without an alarm. what i've noticed, though, is that i’ve been waking up around an hour later than the time i’ve specified. if i say “4:12am”, ill wake up around 5:26am ish. it didnt bother me much bc it’s not like that later time is interfering with my normal wake up time, but it was still interesting to see that aside from my body having its own internal clock, that clock is relatively synced up with actual time clocks.

as i was thinking abt it all this morning, i realized that the clocks changed only a few weeks ago, which is why i keep waking up an hr late! im still accustomed to the old time. it’s so weird to think about for me that i am able to tell myself when to wake up, because i am a very sleepy person and im never an easy riser. super weird but super cool

#this isn't quite spirit work but im still tagging it as such #j's spirit work #op

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chinggay010-blog1 · 7 years ago

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Oh Monday rush! 😅 (110617)

I am so sipag magblog! 🤗

Well, just thought of sharing my monday with you guys. A very epic monday indeed. Btw, what's epic again? Hahaha.

So it started at 12am today, yeys, gising pa ako ng mga oras na yan. I cleaned up my room because its been a mess since I don't know when. 😅 Anyway, after the cleaning stuff I felt excited to sleep. Pagod e? And really sleepy, or so I thought. 'cause just when I laid my body in my bed and closed my eyes, my mind went wild! Ayaw nyang matulog! Bakiiit???!!!! 😧😭 Various scenes entered my mind out of nowhere. Random images from the book I've just read, the cluttered stuff I've just cleaned, and the files of work I have to do on that very monday at the office. Oh oh? Is this anxiety attack? Well, I don't know. And I don't wanna care actually. All I wanted is to sleeeeeep so I can have enough energy to face the manic monday. So after pleading repeatedly "Lord, matutulog na po ako." and after flatting my bed like I'm a rolling pin (does that make sense? 🤔), at I think around 1:30am, finally, I've fallen asleep. 😊

I then woke up at 6:00am (okay, 6:10am to be exact, extension please!) to prepare for work. Everything's well until I reached LRT station at 7:13am.. Its usually a 20 minute ride from there to my office so I thought I still have enough time and won't be late. But then again, I was wrong. 😢 The usual 2-3 minute train interval became 10 minutes and super dami ng tao! Hindi mahulugang karayom ang siksikan ika nga. 😧

A skip train arrives and yeeees!, nakasakay na din ako. 😂 It's going smooth until we reach Doroteo Jose station, still 4 stations away from my destination, the train stopped.. and never moved again. 💔 Defeeeectiiiveeee! 💔 So we got off the train and I was ready to wait for the "savior" train but, to everyone's dismay, it never came. Because after 10 minutes of waiting, they declared "stop operations" na. Haaay.. so no choice, I got out of the station and waited for "himala". Yes, miracle mga kapatid. Kasi punuan din ang mga jeep at ang dami naming nag-aabang. But the Lord is great! An officemate of mine saw me wandering around the road and approached me and said "Ma'm sabay ka na!". May motor sya. Yehey!!! No extra helmet but I still accepted the offer 'cause hello? Ito na yung himala mga kapatiiid! Hahaha 😂 (Actually, I didn't recognize him agad pero sumabay na ko. My bad. Hahaha) And so we arrived at the office safe and sound, thankfully. 😊 Time in: 8:34am.. late.. yes.. buti na lang pwede magflexi! 😂

So tapos na ba ang chika? No. Not yet. Because my mother will arrive tonight from Leyte. I will pick her up from the airport because I missed her so muuuuch! 😍 She'll arrive at around 7pm so I left office at around 5:30pm. Again, for the 2nd time today, I thought I'll have enough time. And again, I was wrooong! 😂😧 Naiwan ako ng first trip going to the airport from edsa. And the second trip arrived at 6:30pm.. 💔 E maaga palang lumipad ung plane nila mama, so at 6:45pm, landed na sila. 😑 So I called her and told her I'll just wait for her in edsa because it would took me forever kung ipupush ko pa ang pagpunta sa NAIA. 😂 And besides, gutom na rin ako. 😂

So while waiting, I decided to eat at McDo sana, pero winner din ang long lines so sa pillows at siomai na lang ako nauwi. Masaraaaap naman! I'm satisfied! Ye'y! 🙌

After eating, I thought I'd write a blog for what happened to me today. So here I am. Waiting comfortably at Edsa Station and writing this blog. Yes, comfortable. Found a place to sit perfectly. With sandalan.🤗

So ayun, I hope you enjoyed reading my not so exciting "adventure" today. And here's a not so nice selfie for you guys right here in my "comfortable" seat. 😅 'til next time my loves! 🤗

#epic #mondayrush #blogsph #bloggersph

0 notes

studyblrland · 6 years ago

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What Is The Effect Of Studying Last Night Before Exam?

I am an engineer and most engineering students follow this method of studying night just for the next day exam. I did this in my four year engineering course. I am average in maths so except maths papers I always followed this one night preparation method. There are pros and cons:

Pros:

You always push your limits. You try to gather more data in a short time. I was always surprised to know that I understood a whole book in one night.

If you really want better results from your studying with less effort download this free audiobook 'Unlimited Memory' and get more done in less time.

You will come to know about your strengths and weakness.

As most probably you will be reading certain topics for the first time so you may not feel bore as I have seen girls who reads the whole semester and before exam they says 'I am fed up reading this book for the whole semester.'

Cons:

There is a good chance you will feel tired and sleepy in the exam hall.

If you don't have a strong heart(confidence) and panic just before going into the exam hall then its all over... you will forget most of the things you studied.

If you have habits of discussing with your friends before exam then again there is a good chance you will forget some/all which you ahve stored in your short term memory.

Overconfident will never pay.

While preparation time will move slowly until 12am but once the clock hit 12O Clock its like countdown and time will starts to run out of your hand. So if you have poor pressure management skill then this method is very dangerous.

As I already said I prepared hard for only maths papers. We got four maths paper -M1 , M2 , M3 , M4. Other papers I prepared only on one night basis. We(me and my roommates) used to study from 8pm to 2am then again from 4am to 7am. From 7am we hardly speaks with each other and remain quiet most of the time revising everything in mind and once we complete exam we used to have Chicken/mutton Rice in nearby Odisha dhaba and then sleeps for next 10 to 12 hours.

So its about your physical and mental condition which determines what effect one night study brings you in exam hall.

I graduated with 80% which was more than most guys/girls of our college who used to study the whole semester. But again I don't encourage everyone to do this.

You can see more answers on this Quora question.

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chickenstuffedwithmozzarella · 7 years ago

Note

Holii! Yesterday your inbox was hungry again and ate the ask number 8 :( (i don’t really know if the problem lies on your inbox or im doing something wrong when sending the asks tbh). Im sending it again only bcs it was the first part of the two asks i send about my sister, and maybe getting only half of it doesn’t make that much sense. You don’t have to answer, it just bothered me, sorry xd

Awwwww, I have customer that always says holiiiii!!! When she comes. And now she reminds me of you, jajajaa. But I read your holiii!!! with her voice 😅. I counted yesterday asks and there were 10, so maybe this time the problem was in your end 😝😝?? I see we’re both geeks of tech things,jajajajaja. Also, where is the message about your sister again??? jajajajajaj 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ what a pair. I thinks is just Tumblr, that is shit… jajaja

I saw the video of SOOT/Durkink. I wasn’t expecting that and i laughed too loud. JAJAJAJA. Also, i don’t know if you have instagram, but did you see Liam’s stories? He tried singing JBalvin parts and it was a mess. I guess they can now understand my struggle. He looked so lost, poor baby. That was even better than “una sacapuntas”. 😂 Anyway, i’m going to answer you now. (oh, and i’m sorry but for me its no under the cut. No even if i log in and read it on my dash).

Jajajajajja, it was very funny, wasn’t it? I’m gonna tag you in everything that makes me laugh,jajajajaja. Awwww, liam was so cuteeeee. I laughed so much as his puppy face. He looked so lost. He was so convinced he was talking Spanish… ayyyyyy. It’s a 10 for the effort. I kept thinking: that’s how I must sound singing in English,jjajajaja.

Here we go. Okay, first of all,i have to say that this new distribution was so confusing the first time i read dit, bcs it took me a while to figure out what were my asks and what were your answers, so at times i started reading and went…uuumh, that sounds familiar, i could have written that. Waaait… 🤦 🤦 🤦 Quite lame, jajajajaja. (1)

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’M SO SORRY FOR THAT MESS!!! I wrote everything in a note. And your asks were in bold. And when I started I thought: remember to check later that it stays this way on tumblr!! Butttttt, when the time came I was SO SLEEPY!!! I totally forgot!!! 😅😅. So, I’ll go back to normal this time, just in case (though I’m writing it the same way. I hope I don’t forget later🙏🏻). Also, I wanted to tell you a lot more, but I forgot everything,jajaja.

Yees, im feeling better, thanks for asking

Well, if it was fatigue, you have the whole weekend to rest. Hope your feeling better. Lol, I feel the same, jejeje, when I see you’ve messaged me, I’m like: how do I let her know I’ve read it, but I can’t answer now??? Asjkxs;sjdhcbuidsljd

I’ve been streaming it since yesterday, and imo is not bad. There’s only one sentence im feeling a bit ambivalent about, bcs im picky like that, but i think its quite good. I cant wait to hear it on the radio and tell everybody “THATS MY SON”(My friends are gonna freak out when they discover that for once, i know the lyrics of a JBalvin song. JAJAJAJ). You have to work 10h each day? That’s a long shift. Is that your usual schedule or is only this weekend? Espero que te sea leve 😘 (3)

I heard it again today, for a bit. And it isn’t reggeatton exactly? It doesn’t have that rhythm that I hate, jajjaja. So I think I’ll be able to listen to it. I haven read the lyrics yet, so I can’t tell you anything about it :/ Same about my friends,jajajjaa. I think mine are gonna be more shocked about me knowing a song in Spanish,jajajaja. They’re always teasing about not liking Spanish music. Which is not true, but well… 🤷🏻‍♀️ What sentence you don’t like? And my shit is parted, so al least I have a couple of hour of rest. It’s how small shops work. So 🤷🏻‍♀️ I don’t have to be back till next Saturday, so… jajajajaja

Ohhh. (I see what you did with IICF lyrics. Smart girl). I was indeed paying attention. I swear. I took notes and answered you at the same time. I’m used to take notes of the subjects while doing essays, so it wasnt hard. Your taxes are on safe hands, don’t worry. My indecisiveness help me broke the system. You choose the pink??? Well done!💖 (4. I think? Why do i lost track so easily?)

How lucky you are, you can pay attention to more than one thing. If smartphones and SM had been a thing back on my student days, I would have failed everything. In fact I did. The first time I had internet at home, I was 15. Oh god! The memories. Back then, Terra’s chat (that you probably don’t know what it is. I myself, don’t remember exactly either) was very popular to talk to people. I met a guy. Ah! My first real crush. We talked everyday via Messenger!! Awwww, he was 17. We talked so much… jajajajajaja I was pretty obsessed. We talked from 6pm (it was when my internet started to be cheaper), till 12am (bc we both had to wake up early the next morning. Oh my god!!!!! Jajjajaja. One day I told him my real age (he thought I was 16), and then we lost contact. Ay! my first love,jajajaja. We never met. ANYWAY!! This all just to tell you that I failed 6/11 class subjects that the first trimester!! It was the first time I had failed ANY class! And ended failing the whole year 🤦🏻‍♀️. So, good for me to not have had an iPhone back then,jajajaja.

Yes me too. With some of the shirts from Harry’s merch I feel like they didn’t even try. Lyrics with a font that looks like Times New Roman… Really? And yes. They are expensive. You haven’t decided it yet? Do they usually have the same things that in the web? Do they have more As you see, im not very versed in merchandising or concerts. Enlighten me pls. (I must say, i’m loving the Honey updates). (5).

I don’t even know what/where/IF they sell merch at Niall’s concert. I would think they do, but 🤷🏻‍♀️. I think I’d buy a shirt. I have the shirt Steve sold for JHO (all black, with Louis and Steve’s silhouettes on the breast, and just hod on written in the back); and the shirt of Harry’s concert. So I’ll like to have one for each of the boys. I’ll see.jejeje.

Yes, it makes perfect sense. I totally get it. When I first heard OMO I thought “lol, me”. And when i heard Mirrors i though “not so lol. Me too”. I was so touched when he explained what was the reason that made him wrote Mirrors. He is too pure. We are so lucky to have him. After hearing your story i can assure you; i’m never going to get a lip ring. Never. Do you still have it to this day? 9 ear piercings? I still have to find the energy to go and get a 2nd one. (6)

One of the things I’m loving about the hiatus, it’s my new love for Niall. When I first knew the band I thought: I can understand why people like all the boys, but Niall? What’s is there to like??? And oh girl, was I wrong! In my humble opinion, he’s the one who’s having the best solo career. Not based in awards or anything like that ( I don’t think successfulness is marked with that). But I don’t know, he’s making a name for him. He had it so “difficult”. Because when people heard his name, they didn’t put a face or a gossip story behind it. But step by step his making himself known, and I’m very proud. And I love his music. And I love to hear him talking in interviews. And those work out sessions are paying off, ajajajajajjaaajsj. So, all my respect to him. (To te rest too, eh 😜)9 ear piercing plus the ones you “get born” with!!! Jajaja. Those were the 00s,jajjajaja.

Well, they cant be much cheaper than now, right? Bcs now we have to pay for separate tickets. That way would be just 1. Let’s see. They would play all of their songs from Four. Almost all of the tracks from Made in the AM and MM. Compulsorily. But i let them have creative license choosing which songs from UAN & TMH they want to play. Im no dictator. What about you? What would you choose? A camera? Which kind of camera? I’m sure you’ll use it again. There’s plenty of occasions, trips & so. (6)

See? I was very sleepy, I didn’t thought about that. It would be just one ticket, not four like now. I seriously hate them. They only want me for my money 😡😡😂😂😂😂. My setlist would have to have! Over Again (indispensable), Four’s songs, MITAM’s songs, solo’s songs. Also, the stage would be small, so they had to talk with each other and walk around each other. And I don’t know, I just want them back together, jajajja. The camera I bought is the LUMIX TZ70. I saw someone has posted videos of Harry’s concert from very far away, but it was only his face. Like it had a big BIG zoom. And I went to their IG, and they had the name of their camera as a bio,jajaja, bc people asked them too much. So I looked it up in Amazon. And I bought it. Mymy. Now I only have to go on trips and those things to use it…😅.

Right direction? What a responsibility. Idk. All that topics are really related to what im studying, so i just learn about it in class, and then, outside the classroom, i read as many articles and books as i can. I just read whatever seems interesting to me. Sorry i’m useless. What i wanted to say is that im no expert on any of that subjects, but i find them interesting. Thats all. (Your mom cant recognise Liam? Im surprised bcs Liam has quite a distinctive voice, at least to me). (7)

I think it is interesting. I’d love to know a lot more. I just like to learn new things. And I love when people tell and explain me things when I’ve said something wrong. So, that’s what I meant, jejej, that if I ever say something wrong, feel free to call me out on it, please.I don’t know why she can’t recognize his voice!! She just says: it’s not this or that, so it has to be him,jajajaa. (I need your opinion on zayn and j Bieber, before I go on with this,jajaja).

JAJAJAJ. Sadly i get too many “hmmm, if you want…” with my friends. And they are usually followed by “You all are crazy”. But yeah, whatever. I’m living my truth. I’ll definitely come and talk to you. Dont worry. (8),

Yes please!! You’re always welcomed here with every wild thought you have!! Jajja. I’ll do the same. I’ll write tags post to you whenever I have something to tell you, jajajaja. Now, I’m gonna check my inbox again, to make sure I had t left any ask without answer. You sent 12 asks today?? You’re amazing!! Thanks!! Ayayayay!!! I have to talk to you about a fic I’m reading. I haven’t finish it yet, but girl! It’s one of those I’ve had to stop reading bc it was to cute!!! I have even hugged my iPad because I couldn’t hug Louis,jajaja. Do you read fics?? If that… lets talk, jajajajajja.Last, Honey came to say hello a while back. Their cousins (my sister’s dog) is spending the weekend here with them, because my sister is on a trip, so it will be an eventful weekend, I’m sure, jajajaja.Byeeeee Love!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Pd: answering to the last thing you said yesterday :) LOU IS BACK!!! But how predictable that was!!! Jajajja. Even I said we would see him now that Harry was a world away. Anyway, I love seeing his face. Can’t wait for what it’s to come!! Bring it!! Jajajja

#anon #this looks better doesn't it #jajja #AHHHHH!!! it's 1am!! I’m going to go to bed!!!!#cdncuedndnciefc #I tried the read more again #I don’t know why it doesn't work 😒

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erikredwood-21 · 7 years ago

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Chapter 4: There has to be more! Part 2

***This Chapter is dedicated to one of my best friends who helped me to get out of a very big writing block, thank you.***

It was approximately 4 am on a Friday, fresh and cold due to November being on its way and it had been a long night. Erik was sitting in Helena’s dining table with the small silver-ish plaque he had extracted from a book in front of him. Static, motionless and pensive, Erik stared at it.

“Evolutionary counciossness — Splicing and re-synchronizing the mind by Alexander Redwood” he was sure it must be some kind of memory or information disk, but he couldn’t use it on his laptop, nor his phone. It was the same size as his ID, but inserting it into the phone did nothing. Erik was desperate and frustrated, it was so close to something of his brother and now something was blocking his way. He decided to go sleep, maybe some rest would help him get things clearly. With the strength he had left, he picked up Helena from the couch and got her to her bed, she was a little bit smaller than him, she was heavy, but he wasn’t going to leave her there.

Erik got a small plastic box and stored the plaque in it. He left to his room and got ready to sleep. The image of the plaque still drilled his mind, he wanted to know what was it, was it one of Alexander’s works? a project? Theory? He wasn’t sure, but he knew it was important, if it wasn’t it wouldn’t have been so well hidden.

Friday

October

12am

Erik woke up at about 11 am, he had a small breakfast and got ready for his Micro-biology class, he always liked that class, it was pretty interesting. He got out of his room and thought on visiting Helena before leaving, she usually overslept on Fridays.

Erik opened the door and as soon as he looked up, a very excited happy and remarkably fresh Helena jumped in front of him.

‘Good morning!’ she almost screamed.

‘Hi, why the happy attitude?’ asked Erik, Helena usually was very sleepy in the mornings.

‘I got a very nice rest, also, why didn’t you told me what you found out? I’ve been working on it nonstop for about three hours!’ Helena was super excited.

‘Wait, you know how it works?’ asked Erik a little bit impressed.

‘Not yet, but I’ve found some really interesting things. For starters, it looks like it was made from a very adaptable material, it has photoreceptors that mimic the surface of wherever it’s standing on, look.’ Helena put the silver plaque over one of her notebooks, a blue one, and after a few seconds the plaque became the same shade of blue, almost as if it had disappeared.

‘Apparently it can mimic the shape and colour, but it can’t mimic the surface. It looks like it reacts to electronic devices though, every time I get it near my phone or my laptop, it reacts, as if it responded to it.’

Helena picked up the plaque and got it near her phone, it started moving, the small circuits started to change positions, as if it rearranged itself in some way.

‘Remarkable, have you found anything else? Is it light reactive? Maybe it rearranges itself to match some kind of wave or a specific frequency.’ Erik left his things besides the door and sat down where Helena was working and got the magnifying glass closer to him. He observed the circuits rearranging, it looked as it was completely different every time he got his phone close none of the patterns looked the same.

Helena got her laptop and started looking for anything related to what they encountered. Erik took out his lab kit and started testing the plaque, most of it seemed to be mechanical and electronic, but it behaved like a living organism, it reacted to light, heat, cold and movement.

‘Anything new?’ Helena asked from the kitchen, she got a glass of juice.

‘Not really, it seems as this thing is alive, it contracts to cold, opens up to heat, the circuits are even susceptible to gravity they glow stronger if it’s at a certain angle, this thing is fascinating.’ Erik was still impressed by that little device.

‘I haven’t found any kind of information related to it. It’s like if it was a one-of-a-kind object. Not in the Academy archives, nor the S.E.A.L.P. records, nothing.’ Helena kept writing down what she found out in her notebooks.

‘There has to be someone who knows about this, I mean, this kind of material, it’s impossible that someone made one and miraculously worked, it can’t be a prototype either, it looks really well manufactured.’ Erik stood up and got a glass of apple juice, his favourite.

Helena walked towards Erik and took the silver plaque from under his magnifying glass.

‘Hey, would you be angry if I told you I maybe told someone about this?’ asked Helena, a little bit nervous. She thought maybe Erik would like to keep this a secret, since it was something regarding his brother.

‘Well, I would not be mad, I would just ask him or her and you, to keep this in the lowest level possible, it’s the only thing we have and I wouldn’t like losing it.’ said Erik. He knew what they found was important, and of course it was something new for them, they couldn’t understand it on their own, so naturally, they would need help.

Helena took her notebooks and Erik the silver plaque, he hid it in the back side of his phone, since it could mimic its colour, it had no problem in disappearing. They made their way towards the Mechanical engineering wing, Helena knew someone who asked to see the device, they took the chance, maybe there was something for them to discover.

Erik took a small time to look for his brother’s name, just to be sure it was still there, and indeed it was, just below “Amanda Bluefare” and over “Aeborn Allen”.

‘Are you sure he will help us?’ asked Erik while they rode the elevator up to floor 3.

‘I trust him, he’s been my mechatronics partner for a while, he’s an expert in coding and loves to hack any kind of systems.’ the elevator door opened and a black-haired girl entered, she just showed Erik her hand making a number two with her fingers, Erik understood that she wanted to go to the second floor, so he pushed the button and both Erik and Helena walked out.

‘Well, where are we going to find him?’ asked Erik. The third floor was a very big space with a lot of tables and students and some places were small transparent rooms, they had a large desk and some chairs, maybe for a private class or lecture.

‘He’s always in the east wing, that’s where he likes to make homework and sometimes hack small locking mechanisms.’

Erik looked for something related to that, but he found nothing like it, he couldn’t recognize anything.

«This would be easier if it was at the labs» Erik thought, he liked the labs, he knew pretty much everyone, not personally or by name, but he knew their faces.

At that moment Erik felt how Helena walked faster toward someone, it was a skinny and tall guy, kind of slight brown and short hair, he looked like those kind of guys who like to spend time on the computer. Erik followed Helena and got closer.

‘Christopher, this is Erik, the guy I told you about.’ said Helena introducing his friend.

‘Hi, Christopher Greensprout, a pleasure, Helena has told me a lot about you, amazing what you did at the first exam, 21, wow.’

‘Erik Redwood, it was just, very serious studying really, I haven’t been able to do it again.’ said Erik while he stretched Christopher’s hand.

‘So, Helena said you got something for me? She mentioned something about a silver plaque.’

‘Yes, here it is.’ Erik took out his phone and detached the plaque. ‘We have found it can mimic the colour of whatever it’s standing on via photoreceptors, however it still keeps its shape and surface, it reacts to temperature and apparently it can’t produce textures.’ Erik gave Christopher the plaque, he took it and analyse it closely.

‘Hmm, it appears it has adaptable circuits, it changes when near heat sources right?’

‘Yes, it contracts to cold too, also at a certain angle it shines brighter, depending on the angle.’ Erik took it and moved it slightly near 45° degrees. The circuits in the plaque shine of the same shade of blue, but brighter.

‘Have you tried touching it?’ asked Christopher while he examined it in his desk.

‘You can’t, it discharges you with a very low electric charge, but it’s enough to make your finger numb.’ said Helena, she started to take out her notebooks.

Erik sat down and looked how Helena and Christopher were working together. They looked in synch, Erik hadn’t heard about Christopher before, and apparently Christopher had heard about Erik. Erik didn’t know that Helena talked about him with other people, he started to wonder about what had she talked about him, somehow it intrigued him, was it positive? Was it hate-speech? He didn’t know for certain, but he wanted to know.

‘OH MY GOD! Are you Erik Redwood?’ Erik heard from behind him, it surprised him a lot. It was a female voice, but not one he could recognize. Erik turned his head curiously and noticed a girl behind him, a pretty excited girl, she had her brown hair tied on a bun on the back of her head, she wasn’t exactly tall, maybe a little bit shorter that Helena, her facial features were sharp and very symmetrical, but what stand out the most was her eyes, they were of a very light honey, almost as drops of gold.

‘You ARE Erik Redwood, oh my god, it’s a pleasure to meet you, I can’t believe I am talking with you, sorry, how rude of me. I am Caitlyn Bluefield.’ she said while trying to keep her excitement.

‘Yeah, sorry about that, Caitlyn is my girlfriend. She’s a very active one.’ said Christopher, he smiled a lot while seeing his girlfriend.

‘It’s not my fault, you are the one who likes doing things calmly’ said Caitlyn while she took a seat at a side from Erik.

‘Yeah, anyway, you already know Erik, this is Helena Silvershine, she’s the other genius’ Helena heard that and she blushed a bit, she didn’t consider herself a genius, neither do Erik, they felt like they do a very hard studying.

‘I believe we haven’t met; Christopher mentions you quite often.’

‘Yeah, we’ve been partners for a while.’

‘What are you guys working on?’ asked Caitlyn while looking at the small silver plaque.

‘We found this, well thing, and we believe it’s alive, in some way. It reacts in the same way as a living organism would to certain stimulus.’ said Erik, immediately Caitlyn turned to look at him, her golden eyes almost shined, as the ones of a little kid getting a present for Christmas.

‘Cool. Do you know where it goes then?’ asked Caitlyn.

‘Goes? Well that would make sense, if it has a circuit line, it must connect to another device, maybe so it can be read or comprehended.’ Erik speculated, it looked pretty thin to be a just a memory drive, maybe it was some sort of key.

‘Erik, do you remember how much voltage does the body have?’ asked Helena, she was writing down in her notebook.

‘At around ten to one hundred millivolts, why?’

‘Well, to power up a single cathode on a TV you need around twelve thousand volts, and this doesn’t have any kind of resistance, if we get it inside something like that it may overcharged.’ explained Helena, she was visibly frustrated.

‘Not necessarily, our body is constantly discharging that amount of energy, it only activates whenever we touch it so, it must charge and work with that, also that would explain why it discharges you when you try touching it, it needs a way of getting rid of that extra energy, and we are natural conductors.’ said Christopher, all of it made a lot of sense. The plaque was powered by the human body itself.

‘We that would mean that only one person could activate it, right?’ asked Caitlyn. Helena nodded.

‘It also reacts to the environment; it doesn’t make sense’

‘No, it does. We know someone needs to hold it, a human, if not it would not have the necessary current or it would overcharge. It has to be used by the right person at the right time, right location and right conditions.’ said Erik. He sat down at a side from Caitlyn and took out his computer.

‘Ok, so we know it shines brighter at a 45° angle. That would mean that it needs to be at that angle, now we only need to find the right location, temperature and that should be enough for this to be activated.’

‘And what would that do?’ asked Helena, quite intrigued.

‘Well, I am not actually sure. Probably we might be able to insert it somewhere.’ Erik took the plaque again and looked at it closely. He didn’t know what was in there, he didn’t even know if he wants to know.

Erik and Helena stayed for a while with Christopher and Caitlyn, they talked for a bit and Erik got into a quite interesting conversation with Caitlyn about how some cells adapt to help other cells in their tasks.

It was getting late, and the sun was almost gone. Erik was standing near the stairs that led to the second floor with his phone in his hand. He was making it do circles using his fingers as anchor points, he was waiting for Helena, which was taking some last books to study on Monday.

Erik was still thinking on how to crack open Alexander’s document, he wasn’t certain that it was a document, but he found it at the library so he assumed it has to be something like that. It was already dark outside and the moon was high on the sky. Full moon, one of Erik’s favourite. He looked down and stared for a bit towards the plaque resting in his hand, for a while it looked exactly the same as before, but gradually it started to shine softly, the silver of the plaque was brighter.

‘Erik?’ Helena said behind him.

Erik looked at Helena and he snapped out of it, he took a small glanced of the plaque, but it remained unchanged.

‘I am fine, just a little bit tired.’ he answered trying to clear out his mind.

‘Yeah, these two days have been a lot to take in. The good thing is that the weekend is here, so, we can rest a bit.’ said Helena and she invited Erik to take her hand. He did and they started walking.

They walked out the building and made their way to the food court, they were going to have dinner but both of them decided that it was better to cook something rather than buying it. Still holding hands, Helena and Erik walked throughout the market and bought some food, cheese, ham, a few crackers and of course a small chocolate for both of them. They liked sharing that kind of stuff, they never finished one by themselves. They finally made their way to the dormitories and upon arriving Erik noticed that the usual poster of the redhead man had been replaced. There was a new announcement.

//Mid-term Relaxation!

The Academy Magazine and Staff

Invite you to our Mid-term Relaxation

Event, with food, music and knowledge

Everyone is invited, students and

Professors alike, be there or be square!

It was a quite cheesy poster, but inviting regardless.

‘Huh, who would’ve thought that the Academy itself would approve of parties?’ asked Helena, she knew that the Academy had certain rules about parties.

‘They approve because it’s something they made, Shine. Also, they probably want us to have a tighter relationship with our professors.’ said Erik, he sounded, irritated.

*Bureep*

Helena’s phone received a message. She let go Erik’s hand and took her phone out. It was a message from Erik’s mom.

//Hi honey, hope I didn’t

Wake you up, just checkin’ in to

See if you guys are ok. Lots of

Success on your exams! Good night

Love, Mom.

Helena smiled while reading it, it felt good to have a family, to have a mom, to know that there was someone out there that cared for you.

‘It’s your mom, she just wanted to know if we are ok… You turned off your phone Erik?’

‘Oh right, I turned it off this morning to check if inserting the plaque did something, and since we were all day together I totally forgot.’

Erik turned his phone on, a lot of notifications pop on the screen, but nothing too important. Although, Erik noticed there was a new symbol on the upper right corner, maybe an update.

They both had dinner and went to sleep. Erik stayed awake thinking about Alexander, but eventually fell asleep.

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷~÷ ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷~÷ ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷~÷

‘We have to keep each student on their respective place Principal, if we don’t, god only knows what will happen.’ said a little bit angrily a suited bald man from one side of the Principal’s desk.

‘My dear Mr. Daniels, the Council has already approved my Transaction Project, this will be done with or without your cooperation.’ said the Principal without even looking Professor Daniels.

‘The S.E.A.L.P. is aware of my intentions, and I can assure you only those who are promising enough will be selected.’

‘Even with their… Flaws?’ asked Mr. Daniels now a little bit scared, something like that frighten him.

‘They are not “flaws” Mr. Daniels, they are gifts. Now if you would excuse us, my assistant and I have some issues to discuss.’

Mr. Daniels had no other option but to leave, the Principal was too stubborn to be dealt with.

‘I thought he wouldn’t leave until you gave up, Principal’ said Scarlette, she was standing next to the desk looking towards the door.

‘He can’t understand progress, Scarlette. How is the S.G.S?’

‘Fully functional and without any abnormalities to report, Principal.’ answered Scarlette, her voice and tone were oddly stiff, almost as if all sounded the same.

‘And the students?’

‘All students are under the Additive Deployment Initiative, as requested.’ answered Scarlette, yet she blinked rapidly and had to scratch her left eye a bit. The Principal noticed it and got close to Scarlette.

‘What is your dosage level Scarlette?’ asked the Principal suspiciously.

‘Current blood dosage is at 12%, Principal, I ran out this mourning’

‘Don’t make up excuses Scarlette, you know you need your dosage, without it I don’t what would be of you.’

‘Yes, Principal, it won’t happen again.’

‘I hope so, Scarlette. I really do’ said the Principal as she looked “out” the window, it was actually a big projection of the surveillance cameras of the outside view of the main dormitories. There was something going on that she felt like she had to stop, but she didn’t know what it was. She felt threatened, powerless, unprotected, it was a very particular feeling, one that she thought was gone three years ago…

#erikredwood #helenasilvershine #christophergreensprout #caitlynbluefield #scarlette #theprincipal #theacademy #originalnovel

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viralhottopics · 8 years ago

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After 5 Years Of Relying On Medication, I Can Finally Sleep

Its been a long time since Ive written anything. And while my intentions were to blog every fortnight, this post has been extremely tough to write. For once I found it quite difficult to articulate my feelings and experiences, because of the personal nature of what I’m about to tell you.

A few weeks ago, I found myself chatting to one of my new friends, who is also an amazing business coach and mentor. He asked me how things were going aside from business, how are you feeling, just in general?. I thought about it and said, did you know, this is the first time in five years that Ive been able to sleep without taking a pill?

Insomnia has been affecting my ability to sleep properly since late 2010. It was kicked off by a freak hockey ball to the head incident, which then transpired into mental health problems (thanks, brain). Around 1 in 3 people have or have had some degree of insomnia in their lives. For an unlucky few (like me) insomnia is/was chronic. If youre one of them and are reading this, know that its okay, there IS a way out.

Back in 2010 I got a wild smack to the forehead from a fast flying hockey ball, I was briefly knocked out and I opened my eyes not even realizing what had happened, but bizarrely, I was laughing! It wasnt until I felt the huge lump on my head that it suddenly hit me (hah, pun intended). Soon after this, I had developed intense trouble sleeping and experienced extreme headaches and photophobia.

In my traditional headstrong fashion I refused to go to the doctor, that was a bad decision. Months later things seemed to be getting worse in my head space. After seeing a bunch of specialists and getting an MRI and all that, it was concluded that I had Post Concussion Syndrome (a minor form of traumatic brain injury).

Because of this, my health took a drastic downward spiral. I was lethargic, had constant headaches, was depressed, irritated, and slightly delusional. The doctors prescribed me dozens of painkillers to cope. I was studying a BMA at the time, and working so I could afford to live out of home and life spun out of my control. The brain does crazy things when it experiences trauma, and for a long long time I was not myself.

I was enrolled in a national head injury study. They interviewed me about the events and my experiences, then they interviewed some of my friends and family. Every six months my reaction time and short-term memory were tested, as well as my mood and general quality of life. It took almost two years for me to get back to normal. I dont know why it was such a long time, perhaps some people are more susceptible to these kinds of things. A lot of people in my family battle with mental illnesses. But even when I was feeling better, I still had to rely on medication to sleep.

Luckily for me, my doctors had refused to give me traditional sleeping pills such as Zopiclone, because of their addictive qualities. That was fine by me, I never intended to be stuck taking pills before bed. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldnt survive without them. At first it was Amitriptyline, a drug in high doses used to treat depression, but I was on it for headaches and as a muscle relaxant.

Sometime after I finished my degree in late 2012, I changed doctors due to not having access to the medical center on campus. My new doctor tried to wean me off taking the medication, I was all in. But it just didnt work. I went back to him after slowly reducing my intake at his guidance and tried a few months without anything. In mid-2013 I had more responsibility with my job which added some stress, and without any pills before bed I was getting between 1 and 5 hours sleep a night. I got sick a lot, gained a lot of weight, my mood was unstable, and I was quickly becoming very unhappy.

So I went back to my doctor, I was attempting to tell him that I still havent been able to sleep but I sat there crying in his office because I was just so exhausted and frustrated. I just wanted sleep. He recommended putting me through a sleep study and to see a sleep therapist, but this wasnt subsidized and I wasnt financially able to pay for such expensive tests (startup wages, am I right?). So, I opted for the easier just for now option. We tried something new, Quetiapine, an antipsychotic drug which in high doses is used to treat people who are bipolar or schizophrenic. I didnt get a large dose, only small enough to help me sleep. But even then I woke up every morning with a drug hangover and it took me hours every day before I could feel completely awake.

I lived like this for a long time, always having to take a pill before bed. Sometimes that didnt even work. I vividly remember how I felt after a huge hike over NZs Tongariro Crossing and then the 2-hour drive home. I was so tired, so exhausted after that I could hardly eat. I was thinking surely, surely I am this tired I must be able to sleep. But then as soon as my head hit the pillow my mind became awake, overactive and as much as I tried, I couldnt settle it down. A few hours later I begrudgingly got up and gulped down that damn pill, desperate for the relief of sleep.

This is when I started researching sleeping techniques. Over the past year and a half I have tried everything; yoga, meditation, walks in the evening, less coffee, less sugar, evening protein, writing down to-do lists and thoughts in a journal beside my bed, sleep tea, calm tea, chamomile tea, peppermint tea, Chinese herbs, sleep drops, lavender under my pillow, hops under my pillow, sleep apps with meditation, hypnosis, screen dimmers, installing Flux on my computer, melatonin, no screens (mobile, TV, Computer) two hours before bed, non-fictional reading before bed, homeopathy just everything.

Sometimes it would help, Id feel sleepy, try to drift off, then all of a sudden my mind would wake, even though Id be so so physically tired. I didnt know it was possible to feel so exhausted and awake at the same time. So I would carry on using my little pills to sleep and feeling hungover in the morning. I hated it, I never truly felt awake in all that time. And if I ever went somewhere and forgot my pills Id always get restless nights with little or no sleep.

A lot of time went past, living like this. After deciding to leave Hamilton to travel, I ended up in Perth, Australia. By the time I got here my little box of magic sleeping pills from New Zealand had run out. I attempted fate once more and tried to cold turkey my way to sleep. It really wasnt working out for me. The smallest noise, a single thought, any slight disturbance would set me off and my mind would begin racing once more. No matter what I did, I just couldnt sleep. There is nothing worse or more hopeless than the feeling of wanting and needing sleep so badly but you just cant get there and you realize your own mind is the only barrier to falling asleep. I remember thinking, how hopeless am I that I cant even perform the simple human function of sleeping?.

The one good thing that came out of these few weeks was my deep inner search for a reason. I didnt feel like my head injury was the cause of not being able to sleep, it just seemed like some sort of instigator. Im not going to share the details, but what I realized was that I had become afraid of sleep, and everything else was just an excuse.

I ended up seeing a wonderful doctor here who prescribed me some medication to sleep again and referred me to a counselor who specialized in sleep therapy. I gladly took the medication and debated whether I was ready for a counselor. I wanted to overcome my insomnia on my own (I had only just started acknowledging that this is really what I had), but sometimes you cant do everything on your own, sometimes you need to accept that you need a bit of a helping hand. And this is what I did.

The first session with my counselor was amazing. She knew what had happened without me having to say much, she said it and I sat there and cried. I cried as years of pent up emotion and holding back just escaped from me and it was so relieving. Her theory was I had developed an unconscious fear of sleeping because I lose control over myself and have to give in to the environment around me. I didnt feel . Of course, I knew logically that I was safe, but there was a deep fear within me that I had never let go of, a blocked memory; trauma. It had nothing to do with my head injury, that was a catalyst, as well as some other events that happened between then and now.

And so started my road to recovery. I went to the counselor once a fortnight. We didnt just talk about sleeping, we talked about a lot and it was really nice. I finally found an app that helped ease me into the sleeping mind-frame, Pzizz. Every morning within half an hour of waking up I get at least an hour of exercise outside. If not, I try to sit in the sun for 20 minutes or be active in some other way. I dont drink coffee after 3pm and limit myself to two a day (on bad days). I dont have much processed sugar, I write to-do lists every day in my diary so I dont lie in bed and think about everything I have to remember to do tomorrow. My bedroom has become an area for sleep every time I watch something on my laptop in bed it affects the amount and quality of sleep I get, so Ive stopped doing that.

Routines are also very important I do the same thing before bed every night. I also try to stick to the same hours, but Im still learning to sleep so I havent been using an alarm, just trying to slowly get back into the right rhythm. Right now I usually fall asleep between 12am, wake up at about 6, then go back to sleep until 9 or 10. Its not the pattern I love, and I still have many days where some nights are better than others, but Im getting there, Im improving and Im not giving up.

My mood has become better, my skin clearer, Im no longer getting sick every few weeks and my focus levels are at an all-time high. I still have a lot of work to do, but for the first time in over four years I can sleep without medication, and it feels so damn good.